“Health is the greatest possession. Contentment is the greatest treasure. Confidence is the greatest friend. Non-being is the greatest joy.” ~ Lao Tzu 

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A healthy yoni is a happy yoni.

We’ve been treating our yonis to some heavenly practices lately—steaming, coconut oil massage, erotic massage—so why not a pleasurable, cleansing cucumber ritual?

In recent years, we’ve become more inclined toward honoring our bodies—and more specifically, our sexuality. Finally, we’re talking openly about it.

“Is it supposed to be a health thing, or a pleasure thing?” asked my partner, as I explained the Taoist approach to yoni reverence.

“Why can’t it be both?” I responded, continuing to calmly peel a cucumber.

(I can assure you that it is nearly impossible to maintain a philosophical conversation about yoni health with a man while peeling a cucumber. Try it, you’ll see.)

The truth is, we don’t need to apologize for a pleasure response to a health practice. The two don’t need to be separate in order to be valid. Pleasure is a gift, so why not enjoy something that can improve our state of being?

So what’s so special about the cucumber that it can be used as part of a sensual health ritual? And how does it fit into the Taoist way of thought?

Taoists teachings emphasize “wu wei” (effortless action), “naturalness,” simplicity, spontaneity and the Three Treasures: jing (sperm/ovary energy, or the essence of the physical body), qi (“matter-energy” or “life force,” including thoughts and emotions), and shén (spirit or generative power).”

To spend time with oneself, concentrating sacred energy on self-healing and self-pleasure is one way to honor these Taoist principles.

I first saw the practice on an instructional video, and I began researching the benefits. As a holistic nutritionist, I was already aware of the hydrating effects of eating cucumber (try it if you have a hangover) and that it acts as a blood purifier. In effect, it’s wonderful when we’re on any kind of a nutritional detox or parasite-ridding program. It also supports the bladder, an area of women’s health that can often cause imbalance and discomfort.

While we strive to keep our body tissues in an alkaline state, the yoni is more of an acidic environment and benefits from the PH-balancing and bacteria fighting nature of the cucumber. A humble vegetable can offer so much.

As much as we need to talk about intimacy and sexuality, we also need to talk about how to treat that most sacred of portals to our heart chakra, the yoni. When we enter into intimacy with masculine energy, we are allowing penetration and access to our heart, via the base chakra. The cucumber can be viewed as a safe alternative, if dealing with sexual trauma of any sort. In this way, this practice can be expanded upon to offer healing on other levels.

The cucumber yoni cleanse is a lovely way to honor our inner goddess nature. I am wont to repeat it, because we still shy away from this, but self-pleasuring and self-care should not be guilty pleasures. Pleasure has (for too long) been equated with shame, and that’s just not a healthy emotional state.

The Practice:

>> Use organic cucumbers if possible, as cucumbers are a heavily sprayed crop, and pesticides/fungicides are not something you want to insert into the yoni. Choose one that you think will be comfortable.

>> Make sure that it’s peeled! In order to access the water-rich, active enzymes of the cucumber, its skin must come off. (And also for the reason mentioned above.) The peeling of the cucumber is part of the ritual, and this is when pleasure-derived endorphins become activated.

>> Create a warm, soothing and inviting area where you can practice the cleanse feeling safe and comfortable.

>> Insert the cucumber in and out of the yoni, with a slow, twisting movement. The cucumber will be cold, but don’t worry, it will warm up quickly!

>> Allow any emotions that surface to come to your awareness; then flow through and know that this practice is for your immediate and long-term benefit. This is loving-kindness. (Maitri.)

With another cucumber, you can also cleanse the mouth and throat. The mouth and throat, in Tantric Sexuality, are known as an extension of the yoni and should be treated with equal care. In effect, you are treating your base and throat chakras—an added benefit! My Naturopath suggests a once a week massage—or once a month, according to your needs.

You can practice this alone or with a partner. If you choose to with a partner, express your intentions—whether they involve physical intimacy, or spiritual/emotional only. Provide clues for your partner about readiness, how fast or slow you would like the movements to be. The same thing applies if practicing on one’s own—listen closely to your body.

This is a good time to explore your femininity and to truly express love for your physical vessel.

The cucumber cleansing massage offers an opportunity to love ourselves as we are, without judgement.

“Are you cleansing or masturbating when doing this?” asked a friend. (This question comes up every time.)

The answer is: maybe yes, or maybe no. Intention is everything. But I dare you to keep things platonic between you and that cucumber. Remember, pleasure is a tonic for the soul.

The Taoist Cucumber Yoni Massage is a very simple practice that can be quite transformative. Enjoy.

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Author: Monika Carless

Image: WikiMedia Commons

Editor: Yoli Ramazzina