In my private practice as a women’s sexuality and empowerment coach, I talk to many women who tell me they feel broken sexually.

They don’t understand why they don’t want or enjoy sex like other women.

But, it’s not women who are broken—it’s our culture.

It used to be that when a girl became a woman, she underwent an initiation process where she was taught the art of sensuality and sex.

Sex was thought to be an act of worship to the Goddess.

These days, too many women feel disempowered sexually, and sex is more often thought of as a sin rather than an act of worship.

Not only were many of us not taught the art of sexuality, but we were taught sex is shameful. It’s no wonder so many of us don’t enjoy sex.

Sex is meant to open up our wild feminine nature and nourish our hearts, bodies and souls.

And because we were meant to have sex like a goddess, we must remember that a goddess:

Loves and honors her body

Today, many women hate and feel shame toward their bodies, and it’s difficult to love sex when you don’t love your body.

Long ago, the female body was revered and worshiped for its powerful ability to give life and experience transcendent pleasure. In almost all ancient goddess sculptures, fertility-centric areas of the body (the belly, butt, breasts, hips, thighs, and vagina) were exaggerated for this very reason.

So, when we hate and shame our womanly parts, we are hating and shaming the core of our feminine sensuality and power. We are shaming the Goddess. 

Uses her voice

Most women were not taught how to be sexually empowered. So in our sex lives, many of us struggle to use our voice. We don’t speak up when something doesn’t feel good and we don’t ask for what we want.

The one way we often do use our voice is inauthentic: moaning to make our partner feel like he/she is doing a good job, not because we are actually experiencing pleasure.

I know it can seem confrontational to ask for what you want sexually, but it is a must to even begin having sex like a goddess. So I encourage you to start asking.

The more you do it, the less intimidating it will become, and you’ll begin to feel more sexually empowered.

Knows how to surrender 

In our culture, surrender is often perceived as weak. But it takes tremendous courage and power to surrender.

A goddess knows that pleasure is her birthright and that she can experience the most pleasure when she is in a relaxed and surrendered state.

She lets go of needing to control, and allows her body to enter involuntary states of orgasmic bliss.

During sex, focus on breathing practices and relaxing your body.

If you normally push and pull to achieve climax, relax into these sensations instead. It’s from a relaxed state that powerful orgasms can occur.

Knows how to receive 

The feminine is the receptive energetic pole, but so many women have difficulty allowing themselves to truly receive. 

When we spend too much time giving and not enough time receiving, we are left feeling drained.

A goddess allows herself to receive sexually, because she knows this is how she replenishes and fills up. She knows that when she is full, she is a more potent force for good in the world.

If you have difficulty receiving, try this:

Soften your body as you lie on your back. Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths as you soften and open your body to receive. Bring attention to your hands, imagine they are sharing energy with someone, and notice how they feel when they are in giving mode.

Now, imagine opening your hands to let in all the love, pleasure and abundance that wants to come flowing into you. Your hands are now in receiving mode.

Notice how giving versus receiving feels. The more we practice this, the more our body will learn to open up sexually.

By embracing these four steps, we will find ourselves well on our way to having sex like a goddess.

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Relephant:

If you Love her, Don’t Destroy Her.

Relephant bonus:

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Author: Sarah Kennedy

Image: Silentmind8/Flickr

Editor: Nicole Cameron