On Mother’s Day, we have pressure put on us to celebrate the mom in our life a certain way.

The common visions of Mother’s Day—and what it needs to be like—is something that has been created by corporations.

This is a typical idea that is being sold to us: breakfast in bed made by our husband and children, while those of us who are moms can sleep in. The partner/husband is to give his wife/the mother of his children jewelry and flowers. But what about the other moms in the family?

We have an extended family. I have my mother who is battling lung cancer this year, a mother-in-law, and a stepmother-in-law.

I have my two daughters and my husband. The pull to be with my own family and create our own ways has been strong. So how do I honor both?

For the past few years, we have invited our mothers over for lunch earlier than the actual day. Last year, we decided to invite a few close friends and their families as well.

I’m not a traditional person; anything I’m “supposed” to do makes me want to run the opposite direction. However, I love to create new and fun ways of celebrating the old, traditional ways. That is the reason we had a big party with our friends and mothers. The party went well, except for the fact that my mom had not been too pleased that we’d decided to invite friends. My mom is very traditional and probably cannot relate to my free-spirit ways of wanting to live my life.

This year, we invited all of the moms in our family (and husbands) over for lunch the week before Mother’s Day. My husband and kids helped me with cooking and cleaning. We had small hostess gifts and cards for the moms. It was a success, because they had a good time.

If I can offer support to anyone about how to deal with old traditions that don’t work for you anymore, it would be to be creative.

Come up with ideas and events that represent your life now, and include all involved. As for your family of origin, find a way to accommodate and honor them in a way that also works for you.

And on Mother’s Day, the four of us will drive down to the beach to hang out and do what all four of us want to do. It’s important for me that we all enjoy the day—after all, I wouldn’t be a mom if it wasn’t for my husband and children.

Author: Sherry Ellingson
Image: Author’s own
Editor: Yoli Ramazzina