We never forget our first time, do we?

Mine started in the parking lot. Sitting alone in my car, I finally made the decision to quit my decade long, toxic, beta-blocker-sucking job, to listen to my inner self’s call to write and help people.

I got out of the car, my brain going a million miles a minute: “Yikes, how are you going to make money you fool? Are you really sure you’re supposed to do this insanity? You know I kinda want a KFC bucket for dinner…”

Just outside my building, a completely random fireworks display started. A huge, 20-minute bicentennial type display. No one else stopped and watched it; just me, profusely weeping like a poison ivy sore while the universe celebrated, “She gets it! This is a sign, right now, from me, the entire universe, to you, Amanda Graham! And by the way, KFC is really bad for you!”

Thank goodness for Synchronicity. It’s a timeless album. Also, it’s a very cool series of related events in which the universe lets us know we’re heading in the right direction.

It’s amazing to think an entire universe churns like billions of machines within machines, all functioning and causing processes to help us figure out whether we’re meant to go to Kundalini yoga or watch “The Bachelor” tonight.

Often it’s the little incidents that can blow us away. One morning, I felt I was being led to check out something that provided beauty and inspiration (okay, my horoscope told me to). My intuition said to go to my favourite art gallery. I hadn’t been there in ages—not since going through a divorce. So I did.

Getting off the train in the city, a woman stopped me to ask me about my gloves. Because of this, I was the last person heading for the exit. A random girl in front of me was carrying a big purse. Guess what it said on it?

“The Art Gallery.”

I even took a picture after I picked my jaw up off the floor, because it was such a tiny thing, but so crazy. And in the gallery, I got an idea that started a chain reaction that led to a huge leap in my new career. It also led to me diving behind a bench to avoid Dan Dan the Gallery Man, who I had briefly dated while I was going through my divorce.

That control-freak part of us can have such a difficult time with the surrender mindset and getting with the flow of the universe. But we can start playing back, by asking the universe for signs. This can be a lot of fun, though let’s admit there’s potential for abuse.

Like when we really want something:

“Dear Universe, I really need a sign to know for sure if I should go for this job that I really freaking want, but obviously I am totally surrendered to you so if I see the colour red in any way, shape or form, over the next few days, including Valentine’s Day, I’ll take that as your nod of approval.”

Or, like when we really want someone:

“Dear Universe, I really need a sign to know for sure if I should go for that insanely hot new person at work. Yes, I know they said a few mean things when we met, but they’re probably going through an ego death right now and need some guidance, so if you want me to avoid them then please send me a sign. How about if I see three slate-grey blocks balanced on the hood of an ’82 Camaro T-Top while “Witchita Lineman” is playing in the background, then I’ll surrender to your will.”

One of the most interesting truths we learn about synchronicity is that it doesn’t always show us something we want to see. Sometimes we’re actually like, “Oh hells naw!” but the synchronicity is so obvious that we may have to accept it.

Recently, the universe has been sending me signs about my ex-pseudo-boyfriend. Here’s the basic conversation that the universe and I have had. Let’s call my ex “Voldemort” (because I do):

Universe: Start thinking of Voldemort. Here’s a Facebook friend randomly posting obscure songs that Voldemort used to send you, and here are a few vivid dreams about him.

Amanda: Wait, what?

Universe: His job is to bring up all your issues and help resolve them.

Amanda: That’s not all he made me bring up. No thanks, Universe.

Universe: Here’s a photo with a message that you will love again, and it will be magnificent. Magnificent was one of your nicknames for him, wasn’t it?

Amanda: WTH, Universe?!

Universe: Here’s a photo of someone who looks exactly like you in a devil’s costume. I know Little Devil is your other nickname for him. Am I getting through to you yet? He’s still got things to teach you.

Amanda: La la la, I can’t hear you.

Universe: Okay, here’s a random address with his name in it twice. And you know how three minutes ago, you jokingly said, “If I’m reading this all right, give me a butterfly on the nose?” Here’s a photo of a butterfly on a nose. And here’s your name next to his on that sign over there. You’re not escaping this!

The universe and I are still in negotiations about this. It is clear I’m supposed to be thinking about Voldemort, but why? I’ve told the universe I’ll accept it all if I see a very specific sign.

Where do you think I got that ’82 Camero bit from?
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Author: Amanda Graham
Image: Author’s Own, Unsplash
Editor: Travis May