I’ve always believed that we attract what we truly want.

However, I haven’t always succeeded in manifesting my desires. Though I visualize my goals and feel as if I’ve already achieved them, sometimes I fail—big time.

I’ve closely examined the desires that came to fruition, and as I compared them to the desires that haven’t worked out, I could tell what was missing from practicing the Law of Attraction: the Law of Letting Go.

Here’s the thing: When I tried to practice the Law of Attraction, I was actually pushing what I wanted farther away from me. It was as if there was a force I directly exerted that caused me to cling to my desires. And the more I clung to them, the more the outcome was never what I wanted.

On the other hand, when I thought about certain things that had happened in my life, I remember visualizing them and thinking about them coming to fruition, but in a naive way. Desires would cross my mind, then I would naturally let them go. I had, unintentionally, given those wants space to be realized by letting them go.

What I’ve learned is that without the Law of Letting Go, the Law of Attraction doesn’t work.

I believe in the intelligence of the universe. There’s an enormous energy out there that responds to every thought we generate. Attracting what we want is not a myth, but the ways in which we attract those desires are debatable.

There are many people who practice the Law of Attraction, yet end up bringing themselves more suffering. What was meant to bring them happiness becomes a drain on their energy.

Think about the desires that have successfully been realized in your life. How did they come to be? Trace back the techniques and methods you used in the past that caused you to get what you wanted. Did it happen when you forced it? Or did it happen when you were relaxed—when you almost forgot how much you wanted it?

Most of the things that have happened in our lives are the result of letting go. We thought about something we wanted, but then became distracted by something else. Or maybe it stopped meaning so much and we no longer cared whether we got it or not. Or maybe, we gave up thinking about it on purpose and trusted that it would come to us in the right time. Whatever our circumstances, we’ve all given desires over to the universe—and then watched them come to life when we least expected it.

It’s like when you go bowling. You can’t knock down the pins with the ball still in your hand. In order to reach your target, you need to let the ball go. And if you’re stressed about knocking all the pins down, chances are that you’ll miss them. Same goes for the Law of Attraction. If we want to attract something, we need to let go of our focus on it.

The ball won’t hit the pins until we let it go.

Trusting in the universe is essential though. We need to know that we will manifest not only what we want, but what is meant for us.

Make your wish and then release it. This is how the Law of Attraction works. You have to give it space to breathe and time to come to life. Visualize it, feel as if your goal is already achieved, and then let it go.

I know that trying not to think about what we want is difficult. But we need to understand that thoughts are only obstructions to attaining what we want. They can discourage us or make us overly excited, both of which can lead to unrealistic expectations. Thoughts are the opposite of letting go. When we force a desire, or think about it constantly, we can end up driving it away.

Imagine you’re holding a balloon in your hand. If you squeeze it, it will pop. If you hold it gently, the balloon stays intact. By letting go, we can achieve far better results than by forcing things to happen.

So ask yourself: Do you want to hold your balloon gently and enjoy it, or do you want it to pop?

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Author: Elyane Youssef
Image: Elade Manu/Flickr
Editor: Nicole Cameron
Copy Editor: Lieselle Davidson
Social Editor: Yoli Ramazzina