Last year, my favorite mug broke.

My first instinct was to attempt to put it together again—then, I laughed at myself. What am I doing? I can’t mend what’s meant to break. I threw away the broken pieces and bought a new mug.

We can’t keep what’s meant to leave.

Oftentimes, we let go of people not because we love them less, but because conditions change (and so do we). Having to live with the discomfort of letting go is arduous. What’s even harder is trying to put together the broken pieces, but realizing it’s futile.

When you let go of someone, it’s valuable to remember a few truths:

1. It’s going to be painful. This is something beautiful to admit. Letting go of someone we love is painful. Let’s not lie to ourselves and mask our pain with fake happiness. Forcing ourselves to be happy when we’re not is like cleaning a dirty floor with mud—it will remain dirty.

2. The pain will minimize over time. No emotion, ever—whether pleasant or repulsive—stays. It might take days, weeks, months, or years—but eventually, the pain will reduce. You’re getting better every single day, but you might not be aware of it. Don’t worry about your gross feelings at the moment, they’re just clouds passing through your clear sky. Feel them, accept them, and sit with them—they’re not staying.

3. If you don’t believe me…check your past. Our stories often repeat themselves, but with different characters involved. Living in the past is unfavorable, but we can use it as a compass to point us toward the right direction. Here’s a story that might inspire you:

There are five beautiful trees near my house. I especially love to view them during summer. However, during winter, they lose all their leaves and turn into naked, lifeless branches. When I was younger, I fell into despair whenever I looked at them during the winter. Somehow, I always seemed to forget that they’d grow leaves again in the summer.

You see, when we’re in an unfavorable life situation, we forget that we went through something similar in the past and that we made it out alive. We think we will be forever miserable, but it’s not true. Reflect on a past painful experience and look at yourself now.

4. What’s coming will liberate you. What’s coming next will show you why you had to lose that person. It’s a chain; you just need to be patient enough to see what’s coming next. Remember, it might not be what you want, but it will definitely be what you need.

5. You will be okay. This, I promise. Here’s the thing about us humans: we always adapt. We often just don’t realize it. The pain is intense now because a certain routine has changed; but with time, you will adapt to the new routine and you will make the best out of it.

6. You won’t forget them. You may question: how could this be a beautiful truth? But, it is—and it’s striking. We might never forget the people who pass through our lives. Even after years, a song, a smell, or a sight might awaken the memory. It’s alright. Remember it as a part of your story, but don’t turn it into a hindrance.

7. Ah, scars. Time heals all wounds; it’s true, but the scar remains. Our scars make us who we are today. They remind us to remain strong, powerful, and aware. Our scars are our blessings in disguise.

8. You just won…the chance to fall in love with yourself more. Shift the love, the attention, and the effort toward yourself. Channel your pain into the relationship you maintain with yourself.

9. Happy new lesson! You just learned something new. You may not see the lesson, but it will manifest itself once the pain subsides. It’s rare to learn crucial and life-changing lessons without your life turning upside down!

10. In 10 years, you might look back and laugh at yourself.

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Relephant:

Honest & Beautiful Truths about Letting Go of Someone we Love.

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Author: Elyane Youssef
Image: Flickr/eren {sea+prairie}
Editor: Yoli Ramazzina
Copy editor: Travis May