Here is the ultimate path to long-lasting, healthy relationships.

We are close to the arrival of February and find ourselves more and more focused on partnership. The pursuit of love is a path we all travel, sometimes many times over.

It also happens to be my specialty and the foundation of my work with manifesting. I’m not talking about your mama’s manifesting, which I am sure many of you have tried with little to no lasting results.

I know it because I was there reading and absorbing everything I could in my pursuit of a lasting, healthy love. But I found myself more frustrated than satisfied, and more hopeless than hopeful. I wondered whether a true and lasting love was possible for me. I finally tossed aside all the books and everything I had learned about manifesting. I then embarked on my own journey.

I discovered that manifesting was more than the spiritually bypassing believe it and you will see it culture that is so popular these days. What I had learned, and what I continue to see on blogs and in books everywhere, is a watered down, let’s get them hooked through instant gratification version of manifesting that does not serve this art.

It was through this deep, honest, and personal journey that I discovered the process: a modern and pragmatic means through which we manifest what we desire in a way that provides sustainable attraction and long-lasting change to our lives.

Regardless of where we are in our manifesting journey—either as a complete novice or a seasoned student—we can apply the following five principles to begin to see a genuine and authentic opening as far as relationships are concerned.

Let’s get started:

1. Worth.

Here is the deal. The axiom we must be in vibrational alignment refers to our being rooted in high self-worth. For many of us, especially when it comes to love and its cousin, money, we are rooted in low self-worth trying to attract high self-worth experiences. In this case, we find ourselves out of vibrational alignment with what we seek.

One of the first things I guide my clients through is an in-depth exploration of self-worth. By magnetizing this area and removing blocks which have kept us rooted in low self-worth, we begin to shift and understand how we are capable of attracting quality people to us. Many of these subconscious beliefs around worth are created in our formative years: they center heavily around our caretakers and our life experiences during this time.

2. Know what you want and also what you don’t.

I know this goes against what we have been taught regarding manifesting but it’s time to debunk this myth. The root of our manifesting comes from our highly generative subconscious (and not from our thoughts).

Hence, we are not going to manifest what we don’t want by thinking about it. We manifest what we don’t want by having a subconscious which is heavily rooted in limiting beliefs, all of which center around us being unable, unworthy, or incapable of having what we desire.

This is why clarity and vision are paramount to manifesting what we desire. We cannot possibly draw toward us what is still unformed within. Knowing the type of partner we are looking for—adventurous, compassionate, conscious—and how we wish to feel by him or her—supported, loved, accepted—as well as what we don’t want—liars, cheaters, those unwilling to commit—is central to forming a list that encapsulates what we are and what we are not looking for.

This list then serves as our petition to the subconscious, to the universe, and to what we desire.

3. Think small.

This is the only time someone will hear me encourage anyone to think small. But when it comes to manifesting, it is the medicine we need.

When I was first manifesting love, I was all about the destination. We want a healthy relationship with passion, intimacy, and loyalty in the form of readily available and unwavering commitment. We want the marriage and the white picket fence with 2.5 kids. This is a wonderful stretch goal but the truth is that when I was trying to manifest these things, I hadn’t been on a date for over six months.

Making the list of what I wanted was, in fact, a bit out of reach vibrationally and practically. First, I had to start with manifesting dating experiences. By opening up the pathways for the energy to flow through these dating experiences, I was moving closer and closer to the ultimate goal, making manifesting more practical than when I hadn’t been out on a date in half a year.

We need to take a big goal and begin chunking it down until we have several smaller goals. These are exponentially easier to manifest and draw toward us.

Manifesting is a recipe. We have to follow the steps in order if we want that dish to taste sublime.

4. Be prepared for the tests.

When I was first manifesting a partner, I was surprised to see my ex-lovers started to roll into my life. It took me off my game for a while because I saw the arrival of old lovers as a sign. I thought that maybe they were ready or maybe I was being tested.

It happened also when someone who almost fit my list would arrive on the scene. I would allow self-doubt to tell me I was being too picky or that I shouldn’t let a good one go. Again, I was being tested.

The universe will give us insights to test our resolve. Are we fully rooted in our worth and not willing to settle for less than what we know we deserve? Do we want a partner more than we want self-respect or self-worth? Are we willing to settle for less?

Let’s not worry if we have failed a test. I personally failed many. It may set us back a bit but it does not mean that we have failed the art of manifesting. It means we must get even more dialed into what we desire and improve our self-worth so when the next test arrives, we are sure to pass.

5. Be ready to receive.

We need to know what we want and also what we don’t want. We further need to be dialed into a stronger level of self-worth and we need to be prepared for those tests. But what happens when we have a bunch of limiting beliefs that still obstruct the path?

It’s imperative to explore, discover, and reprogram limiting beliefs that keep us from being fully open to receiving healthy romantic experiences. If we believe we are not worthy of love, or that we are not good at love, or that love is something that happens to other people, then guess what? Those beliefs will block our progression and will prevent healthy romantic experiences from reaching us.

Our subconscious beliefs serve as the programming we upload to the computer in our brain. They tell our brain what information to accept and process, and what information to ignore and reject. This is a necessary function of our brain as it is subjected to millions of bits of information every minute and cannot process all of it. If we believe we are not worthy of love, our brain will only seek out and accept such information and will reject the plethora of evidence to the contrary.

We are all here with ample love to give. We want to be seen, valued, and loved for who we are. Manifesting this in a partner and in a relationship is absolutely possible when we take the time to move through the process. It may require a bit more work than the standard just think it into being but it brings far more sustainable satisfaction and results.

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Author: Laura Brown
Image: Brooklyn (2015)
Editor: Angel Lebailly
Copy Editor: Nicole Cameron