So you don’t feel like baking those Christmas cookies or hanging up those six dozen strands of Christmas lights you have up in your attic somewhere.

You’re not in the holiday mood this year for some reason. Maybe your job is stressing you out, maybe your home life isn’t the picture perfect one that Facebook leads people to believe; maybe you are grieving the loss of a loved one. Maybe your heart is broken. Maybe your wallet is broken.

Maybe your loved ones are far away and you can’t see them this Christmas. Maybe the crazy consumerism that can be cloaked as Christmas is crushing your soul.

Maybe you are Just. Not. In. The. Mood.

It’s OK.

Well, the culture won’t tell you that, but I will. You are not alone in your Scrooginess. In fact, you’re in good company. And it’s OK. I’m writing this to give you permission to not be happy during this, the most “wonderful” time of the year.

This doesn’t mean I’m giving you permission to act like a Scrooge -you can silently not bake those cookies or quietly not hang up those flashing colored lights. No need to advertise or to take it out on others. Just take comfort in knowing you are not alone.

As much as the culture tells us that we can -and that we should-we cannot order up happiness during the holidays like a pumpkin spice latte at Halloween. Happiness is not an emotion you can conjure up on command.

You can, however, work on finding moments of peace, thoughts of gratitude, and if you’re lucky, maybe you can even find some moments of grace. You can look for silver linings in your suffering, or for lessons in your pain, but you don’t *have* to be happy.

If you’re just not feeling it this Christmas, you can bake cookies next week. Or next month. Or never. It’s OK. You can give money to the homeless next week or next month, too. There is no statute of limitation on kindness or generosity. You can be kind and charitable any time of the year. In fact, your good spirits and your generosity are probably more needed during a different time of year. After all, everyone else is giving their money and their time during the holidays

This may fall under the category of a rationalization, but that’s OK too. Rationalizations are necessary-especially during the holidays. How else do you deal with your crazy cousin at Christmas dinner? Alcohol, aside?

So, find a quiet corner and do what you need to do: practice some yoga, meditate, journal. Maybe it’s crafting…or maybe it’s crying.

Do something that feeds your soul. Find peace amidst the pandemonium. Let go of the “shoulds” and embrace the “coulds.”

Happy (or not) Holidays.

Merry (or not) Christmas.

You’re welcome.