If you keep saying, “I want a primary partner,” but continue to sleep with people who you KNOW just aren’t fitting the bill for primary partnership, get real with what you really want.

Right now: you want drama, hiding, fear, the chase, electricity, longing, and more drama. Wanting but not quite getting, yearning but not having.

Being around people who make you feel not good enough, ’cause somewhere you feel not good enough. So now at least you both have that in common.

This is ESPECIALLY SEXY for women who have their shit together in every area of their lives, who like to be put in their place quite a bit by some asshole who thinks they know best.

That stuff can be freaking HOT especially when you realize you are in full agency to choose it or not choose it at your leisure.

If you were truly miserable with that dude, you wouldn’t be with him.

And we all like misery at some point in our lives.

No, there’s nothing wrong with you.

No, you are not broken.

No, you can’t fix him (and you know you can’t).

You are just lying to yourself about what you really want.

You want to be fucked over and potentially you would like to fuck over. Okay, so do it.

I GET IT.

I’ve done it.

I spent like a year in psychotherapy trying to figure out some dude. It was ridiculous but honestly, I LOVED THE INSANITY.

So if you want to fuck up your love life GO BIG OR GO HOME.

Don’t half ass it.

Accept the reality of WHAT IS and stop trying to change her mind or make it better.

For the insanity comes from trying to change what is into what COULD BE.

The freedom comes from deciding how to enjoy the ride in the way that is scratching some itch, at least for the time being.

To be honest with self over the fact that this is a GAME that is being played, nothing to really write home about.

These dramatic relationships never get better, but that’s kinda the fun of them, right?

I watched her gain full agency and power when she knew she was PLAYING A GAME and could play it in a way that truly felt honoring, sexy, fun for her. And once she gets tired of it, she can quit it anytime.

Remember it’s you who built this rollercoaster and it’s you who can get off.

Enjoy the ride!