Sometimes it seems as though life just passes with a blur like a movie screen.  I swear it seems we all feel dead inside sometimes.  The struggle of trying to juggle life is real.  With all the thoughts and anxiety that haunts us.  How do we do it?

 Some days are filled with great sunshine with a happy smile on the face.  But beneath all that deep inside  can be real pain buried behind the chest.  A stinging pain passed memory’s you try to ignore but always somethings seems to bring it up no matter what you do.  You get up each day which is a blessing.  And sometimes we all feel the sweet warmth of the sun to enjoy with the bright blue sky.  Some people think oh that person is fine or he/she always seems so and so.  But if only some knew the real struggle.  Some of us have the hardest lives.  It can feel as tho you can’t feel anything.  With no expression across your face, and maybe you feel like a ghost invisible to the eye.  And nothing sometimes can make you feel anything.  Basically I call this the effect when I feel like a zombie dead inside rotting away.

As you grow older you learn how to deal with certain things.

What Can Help.

• Talking.  Talking to friends/family really helps.  Just venthing instead of keeping all the emotions bottled up inside is better to release it and talk.  Better than letting it bottle up and exploding later on.
• Listening to music.  This is another great way to relieve inner emotions.  Any song you connect to just put it on and listen to it.
• Writing.  Writing down how you feel in a poem or short story.  It puts how you feel on paper rather than keeping it inside.

Even I overlook the great things in life such as the beautiful Seattle weather.  I forget to look how beautiful life really is.  I lost my mom 3 years ago.  She was the shining star in my life and my best friend.  I woke up one morning to get ready for my college class.  And I found my mom laying there unresponsive.  As I performed CPR she took her last breath in my arms. I still struggle sometimes to this day with certain things such as my anxiety, and emotions.

There are we probably all just want to give up.  But in the end we remind ourselves we are here for a reason.  And just the remembrance of the great things in life keeps us going.  What we have accomplished and still look forward to.  The positives in life are the best thoughts to think about.  We all will sometimes battle hard days and crappy events.  There always the reward to look forward to as they say.  Keep fighting.

I wanna say thank you to the important people in my life who keep me going, Mum, Aunt Nancy,My fiance Zack. And to my other family and friends as well.