I need to say farewell to you once and for all. When you are with me, I feel on fire; the passion, the love, the connection, and the conversations we have are complete. 

The only problem is I am still incomplete on an emotional maturity level. The minute you leave my space, I am all of sudden filled with feelings of loneliness, abandonment, and depression even though we talk about the future and the hope: The hope of something new and better and beautiful that we could create together. 

I cannot be the husband and father you need right now. I am on the verge of a breakdown even since you came back into my life. I’ve always been ill, but I feel more ill than I’ve felt in months since you came back in. 

I can’t let you back in anymore. I can’t keep being weak for you and needing you. You want a strong person; A strong teammate in your life is what you crave. I am not the man you want to have; I’m the man you want to save, because you are too scared to save yourself while being alone, so you yearn for that companionship and family connection, since your entire immediate, extended, and actual family seem to be falling a part at the seams. 

I, like you, am also falling apart at the seams. I want to LIVE a healthy and long life, and I can feel my life slipping away when I’m with you. I can feel my goals and aspirations disappearing when we talk about “Us”. 

Please respectfully, let me go. Let me be alive. Let me be free. Leave me be. I can’t hear from you. I can’t see you. I can’t breathe you anymore. I barely can breathe my own oxygen to keep my life going. 

Just let me go.