“Man, I don’t love my wife anymore. ”
Best friend says “There’s always divorce.” SILENCE
In unison “or we could just kill her “.
” Let’s do it man!”
“You go get trash bags, a shovel and one of those big blue barrells”.
“I got ya man. I’m with ya bro Wait…why a blue barrel”?
“Dude do you ever watch ID Channel? I dont know why either but well figure it out”.
Phone rings “Hey honey what ya doing?”
Not devising your death, not attempting to murder you. “Honey do we have a shovel?”
“Yes. We have a shovel. We also have one of those big barrels like you see on the ID Channel. Can you come by for lunch? I really want to see you plus I have increased your life insurance to $1.75Mil and need your signature. Oh and I’m taking off one day next week “.
“Why honey “?
“I just need a new black suit or dress. Probley mani and pedi as well”.
“Honey are you there?”
“I need to call my co-worker. Be there soon”.
“DUDE WHERE ARE YOU?”
“Pulling in Home Depot “.
“Abort mission! Abort. Mission NOW “.
“OK! You want the red barrells instead of blue? Dude this shovel is WAY COOL”.
“So the shovel is WAY COOL? Will my neighbors be jealous? Ok. Get the shovel but if you see my wife loading up a red barrell and a different shovel into my Lincoln SUV that means I’m dead and she’s rich.”
‘Your wife’s hot man. How long before I have your blessing to date her”?
“Get the shovel. Forget the blue barrel. Get the trash bags because she asked me to pick up some after work ”
“Where are you going”?
“Home to ask my wife for a divorce. BYE ”
“This is a cool shovel”