As a parent; we nurture, care for, mentor and prepare our children for the real world and sometimes we get to live out our lives watching them go through life and other times, some aren’t so lucky. My heart bleeds for the many parents that have to say goodbye to their children’s earthly body, I can only imagine what that must feel like.

It was the July 4th, 2018, an earlier day filled with a parade, fun with family and good food. After a long day, my son and his girl left the party; to go secure a spot at the fireworks field for that evening, as he’s done every year before.

When they say, life can be changed in a split second, that couldn’t be more true. It is also important to recognize that an unrelenting Faith, keeps us going even when the most burdened of thoughts, weigh heavily on my mind.

On the way to meet him, the heavens opened up, literally and figuratively. It was raining so hard that it was impossible to see the road and I thought, well no fireworks, now! All of a sudden, in the distance, I saw this incredible flash of light and felt the intense direct hit of lightning, so unbelievably close but hopefully far away. I looked at my Mom and said, “that hit something”. Little did I know, it would be my child. I received a series of frantic calls via messenger and all I could hear was my sons girl, screaming that she needed to get a hold of me and the call would drop. I looked at my Mother after the third unsuccessful call, white with fear, and said, “something just happened to my boy”. Just then, I received a phone call from a friend; stating my 18 year old baby boy, had just been struck by lightning and was on the ground, unresponsive.

I don’t have to describe that short but endless drive, to anyone; that is a parent. I kept repeating the words, NOT TODAY! Please GOD, NOT TODAY! Take the wheel, I give it all to you. I trust in YOU and I will do your work, just NOT TODAY! As an 18 year old kid that has his whole life in front of him, he can’t even grasp the hell those moments consisted of, and I am gratefully he doesn’t remember any of it.

As if being a parent isn’t taxing enough on the heartstrings, from watching them sleep as a baby and coddling them through life’s upsets. Driving up to meet an ambulance that you know has your child inside, is not something that is easily described. As I opened the door, I saw my last born lying there, lifeless, ashen grey and not moving, barely breathing. It’s an image, that I suffer with the most. There is nothing that can prepare a parent for a moment as such, in any capacity. The next few days, I would sit in fear, watching him sleep, just as I did when he was a baby.

All the T.V. accounts would describe his status as being unresponsive. However; it wasn’t until after leaving the hospital and watching the news air a story of the Paramedic and Firefighters account of what happened. Cardiac Arrest! Wait? What? That means he actually died? Is that what I’m hearing? We would learn that yes, my baby boy was actually in cardiac arrest and dead for several minutes.

That put a whole new twist and perspective, as well as the many other thoughts running through my mind. But number one and most importantly; the selflessness of the off-duty, first-responders that contributed to bringing my son, back to life. There to watch the fireworks with their families, they didn’t hesitate to run to help both my son and another 4 yr old victim, both in cardiac arrest. Without the quick thinking, skilled men and women that were there that fateful day; I am certain, I would have been preparing a funeral, instead of writing of my fears and never ending gratitude.

The days to follow; for him, have been a blur. Trying to piece memories back together. It was a little scary for him and us. Not only didn’t he remember his graduation just months before, but he also didn’t remember a pivotal injury that ended his highly decorated high school basketball career and a surgery to follow.

But perhaps the most soul searching one, of all. His earlier conversation with his girl, in where he asked her, “Are you afraid to die”? Where-in he would tell her, that he was not. I put all my faith in God Almighty on this day, unlike I have on any other day. I remember gathering the 30+ people who came to the E.R. that day into prayer vigil; while we held hands in a circle. I will continue to speak Gods word and strive every day, to be a better person; than I was the day before.

I said it before and I’ll say it again.
My son, God has chosen you, saved you and planted greatness in you! If you never believed it before; I pray you do, now!!! I love you and your brothers, so very much! ???
Cindy Fuller a.k.a. Mom of 3