Answer honestly! How many people had a rough start to life or may have had some misfortunes come up along the course of your life journey? Maybe you weren’t raised in the best circumstances, maybe you have a disability, maybe you didn’t graduate school, maybe you didn’t pass that test you needed to pass, or maybe you had some kind of trauma that weakened your positive thinking. In life, circumstances will come up that will challenge you. In life, circumstances will come up that will require your strength. In life, circumstances will come up that will entail you to fight and not give up. Not only will these things come up in everyday life situations, but these things will happen in your relationships and marriage as well. 

I was eighteen years old when I married the love of my life. I had no life experience, I had no support from family marrying so young, and I knew nothing about myself. I was just a young girl in love. One month after high school, I packed my bags, left home, and said, “I do!” Two years later, my husband and I moved to Georgia where we suffered tremendously. We lost everything. We went without electricity for quite a bit, we had to take bird baths or wash up in the sink, we had to share sandwiches off the dollar menu because we couldn’t afford to go grocery shopping, we had to ask for help paying our rent, and we even became so low we had to sleep in a few motels. Talk about humbling! Through my experience of being young and married and going through these difficulties, I have learned three important things.

First, I am stronger than I think. With enthusiasm, I am here to tell you that you are stronger than you think! I was ready to give up on life at one point. I was broken, depressed, and wondering how did I fall in this condition. How did I end up sleeping in stinky and nasty motels? How did I end up having to split a Wendy’s chicken sandwich right down the middle with my husband? I was disappointed in myself because I had so much potential to be great. I had the potential to live where I wanted to live and eat what I wanted to eat. Most of the time strength is something that we don’t see in ourselves until after we have come out of the bad situation. We don’t see it until we look back on the situation and we say, “how did I get through that?” You got through it because you are strong. You got through because you have an inspirational story to tell that will help someone else who is in a dark place.

Second, I learned that “in due season we shall reap if we faint not” (Galatians 6:9 KJV). I learned that everything happens for a reason, there is a time and place to shine, and that stumbling blocks are put in your path for you to stand taller and more confident. I didn’t realize that all I went through was a setup and a testimony to share with others who could possibly be going through something in life or tribulation in their marriage. Sometimes our responsibility in life is to inspire and uplift others. If I didn’t experience what I experienced, I wouldn’t be able to write, I wouldn’t be able to inspire, I wouldn’t be able to tell anybody to keep fighting until change comes. Your time to shine might not be when you think it should be. For example, I didn’t graduate college until I was thirty years old. I couldn’t have graduated when I was twenty-two because I didn’t appreciate education then. Sometimes things won’t happen until you are in a place to be appreciative of what’s happening in your life. Sometimes things won’t happen because there is something more meaningful for you to do. Sometimes things won’t happen because you haven’t found your purpose yet.

Lastly, don’t give up on your marriage so easily. If you are in the right relationship, it’s worth fighting and sticking it out. Going through what I went through was hard but doing it with another person was even harder. You can only imagine the “blame game” that was played or the “should of, could of, would of” song that I often sang. When you have someone right there, it is extremely easy to blame them for everything, as if they aren’t going through the struggle too. If I had given up on my marriage and left my husband, I wouldn’t be in the triumph stages that we are in now. Nearly thirteen years later, we have overcome. We were struggling financially, but we were building on our foundation internally. We were building and learning to adapt to change, building and learning to overcome adversity, and building and learning to make our love thrive. We overcome small hurdles, so we could fully leap over the giant ones.

What did I do and what was the end result of my misfortunes? I took the pain that I endured for years and turned it into something positive, which is a relationship coaching business helping other couples in different transitions manage their adversity. So, you may not have the best of starts. If your relationship foundation is right, you will have a great outcome. If your mindset is right, you will have a great outcome. You may be tested financially, with sickness, or other circumstances. That is life, but how you overcome in the end is what is most important. How you utilize your strength, remain positive, and stay in the fight will help you understand that your beginning doesn’t have to be your end!

https://youtu.be/cskRaSwGex8