From greeting cards (which include ones “joking” about the downfalls of getting older with the assumption you must be having a tough day because it’s your birthday and you are getting SO old, ones “joking” about how age is just a number, a really high one in your case, and ones promoting this idea of forever 29… forever 39, 49, 59, etc.) to punch lines from co-workers, family and friends, it is constant. This messaging- maybe embrace your birthdays when you are younger, and then push them away, ignore them, fight the age even, as you get older.

My reaction to that messaging- forget about trying to live like you are in your past decade- EMBRACE YOUR BIRTHDAY! It’s a gift to turn one year older, a privilege many will never have for themselves.

It is extraordinary, for many around us, from our local communities to the broader global community, will not live to the age we just turned. Just think about that for a moment- the amount of people who did not, or will not, live to the age you are at this very moment, and for the vast majority of those people, that fact is not by choice.

Full disclosure, I’m 30. I realize many of you who are older than 30 and even those younger, might disagree with this and not look forward to getting another number added to your age. Also, some of you, rightfully so, may be saying 30?? That’s so young. Wait until you are 40, 50, 70, 80,100 (whatever you consider your “old” age to be, you might already be there), then see how my opinion about birthdays changes. And you might be right. I don’t know exactly how I will be and react as I age, but I do know that each birthday, each year we get to live on this planet, is a privilege.

So my reaction to turning 30? Pure JOY. So much joy and gratitude. I have lived thirty years on this planet! How incredible is that?! Such an honor.

I wasn’t expecting this reaction necessarily for myself- the positivity, the joy. I feel as though our culture has pushed this anti-aging sentiment on all of us so much, it almost feels ingrained into our being; I felt guilty. Why was I feeling this way? So ecstatic? Aren’t I supposed to be having regrets and sadness about the past or fear and worries about the future? It made me sad that guilt about not having those thoughts crossed my mind.

And that being said, I’m lucky, I’ve lived a blessed life, not always easy, but wonderful, so maybe I shouldn’t have been surprised by my reaction. I have had some life experiences that have shaped my worldview and perspective, mostly shaped my views on the value of life and how precious it is, with dear friends dying at young ages, to my own cancer diagnosis at 24, to the work that I do. I very much value time on this earth, having seen how transient and impermanent this life is, so again back to maybe I shouldn’t have been surprised about my reaction to turning 30, but I still think it’s important to be reflective.

If it hasn’t come across yet, the idea of the importance of a set day to celebrate (because there really is every way possible to spend your birthday- some go all out with celebrations, many others do not have a choice in how they spend it, some do not know their actual birthday and others have had negative experiences or traumas associated with birthdays) is much less important than the idea of accepting your timeline (maybe even embracing it) and then somehow, without too much time in between, honoring your days- whatever that looks like for you. So for all of us, wherever we fall on the celebrating birthday spectrum I encourage you, in some way, to acknowledge your age and what it means to get older. Take time to reflect (writing this is my way of doing so) and if you have never taking the time to truly self-reflect before, I encourage you to start small and be open to discovery, for self-reflection can truly take on so many forms.

So in closing, try not to fight the number of your age or try to push it away too much, for that number reflects the amount of days you have had in this world, and not to be too morbid, but it’s true and important to remind ourselves that any number of days or birthdays we have moving forward are not guaranteed so maybe, just maybe, even have pride in your age. Honor it. Sit with it. And to bring it back to my first point, let’s bring the joy back into birthday messaging!