Go your own way. Close your eyes and lean towards whatever lights you up.

When we feel drawn to something from deep down within, there’s usually a sense of deep inner knowing. We usually have some level awareness of that thing that has been hanging over us, for days, months, years, quietly suggesting we pay it attention. And it can present in so many different ways for each of us – a desire to sing, play music, create, teach, draw, dance, paint, write, fly, cook, heal…

These inner-stirrings invite us, as individuals, to engage with ourselves. They call us to share ourselves in ways that might scare us, but offer something real to others. They provide us an opportunity to connect in a real and authentic way.  These passions keep asking for our assistance to manifest in so many different ways. And if we are really honest with ourselves we might recall times we turned our back, or repressed that calling, put it off, dismissed it. We may have discounted it as crazy, wild, silly, or a waste of time. But really, that thing that keeps calling us, it’s our invitation to go our own way.

It takes great courage to follow a road that feels meant for us. Easier in some ways, to take the highway and complain. Because to be bold, and brave, means we are vulnerable. But hidden in the risk, is also our reward. Our teacher. Our calling. Our journey.

As a young woman, nobody told me that we don’t need to pretend, to be more than we are. Or that we need not worry about having it all together, all of the time. I’ve since realised it’s a farce, a trickery, a ploy to play on our fragile selves as we seek reassurance, validation and comfort. We are easily tempted. Easily swayed. Easily twisted into feeling we need more, or that we are lacking in some way, or that we are not enough. The perfect consumer, really, is one who dares not question the outside world, but only themselves. So we fall victim to a game of comparisons where we are led to think that as we are, we are not enough. A game we are set to lose in thinking that our contentment, or happiness, can be bought, or achieved by looking a certain way, acquiring certain things, or wearing certain clothes.

But what if we don’t need to be any more than we are? What if we are enough? The invitation is to simply be ourselves. It sounds deceivingly easy. But when we really strip back the layers, in a world that applauds conformity, and competitiveness, it is challenging.

Owning our journey, our lessons, and our truth – frees us. It frees us from this suggestion that we are not enough, or that we should contribute something more – buy more things or be something greater. When we are already great, free, incredibly powerful and definitely, enough.

There’s this undertone of suggestion, that we need to add value to ourselves with things. To acquire things, and achieve milestones. To look a certain way or be a certain someone as a measure of our success, or worth. There’s this undertone of suggestion, that one size fits all. I used to believe it. I tried to believe it. But now I subscribe to something different.

The only person who gets to define our success, is ourselves. And the only person by whose measure we are worthy, is our own. So we must first determine, what success really means to us, and what it would look like and feel like. And we must decide, what our worth means to us, and really, how are we going to gently guide ourselves along our road – this one we are walking?

Maybe we live in houses, but our home is within us, found when we stop chasing some elusive idea of what we thought we were meant to be, and just start adorning ourselves as we are, nurturing and tending to our broken bits, the realness, the humanness, from the inside out.

I spent years contorting my being, trying to morph into new versions of myself – to fit new moulds, or achieve new things, jump through new hoops, grow up, settle down – soon, soon. I felt eventually I would be able to settle myself into some well-rounded conventional version of me. Relax myself into that life that so many people kept asking me about.

‘When will you – settle down/get married/have kids/buy a house/do the things…?’

But it didn’t feel true for me. And every time I got close, I felt pulled somewhere new, towards some other idea of what I wanted life to look like. Some other version of me.

I felt sure that one day I would wake up and feel ready. But it wasn’t happening. As time pressed on I felt more and more pressure to succumb myself to this version of life that seemed linear. It seemed to make sense, and yet, I could make no sense of it. I felt soon enough I would resign myself to it being my fate, my future, my road. But as I tried to push and pull myself into shapes my body fought hard against, eventually I realised, it wasn’t working for me. This wasn’t my road. Something had to give. That something, was me.

Eventually, I realised that we aren’t all made to follow the same road. The world turns with colour, and flavour, and rich diversity. There is need for many types of people, many expressions of self and giving. There are so many ways we can contribute something worthwhile, so many spaces to play in and connect, all valuable, all worthy, and real.

The things that lure me, are plentiful. The things that fill my day, feel precious. Deep connection, and mystery, creativity and sharing. To avail myself to give and receive in ways I never considered possible. In hindsight, a conventional road never did call me. I just hadn’t yet learnt to honour the road that did. As I surrender to my path being a little wild, rugged, and untrodden, I feel more connected and accepting than I have ever before.

See nobody ever grabbed me by the shoulders all those years ago, and gently looked me in the eye and said, ‘go your own way’. Instead they said, ‘be something’. And I tried, at times I pushed hard against it, but other times, I really did try. Perhaps it was my road to fight so hard, to try to fit the mould, and then realise it didn’t fit me. So now it may, or may not, be of use for me to say, ‘let go of the constructs, the edge of reason, and let your heart carry you towards the thing that lights you up when you close your eyes. No matter how crazy, how scared. Go your own way’.