I met the universe on a 4am bus to Burma the other night. It strolled up and it’s as if I recognized it before I consciously did so. I squeaked “hi” and he looked shocked that I’d acted like we knew each other. To me, we all know each other.

I thought I’d climb on the bus and fall asleep as it was 4 AM but me and the little light laughed all night rambling on until the sun came up. And when it did we continued scattering laughter around bouts of truth, which is the best and only way to do it. We spent eight hours on a sweaty bus packed with strangers. We were not strangers.

Near the end we were talking about creativity (he was a genius film maker) and he was talking about how sometimes he feels too unorganized. Aren’t all artists unorganized?

I challenged “Maybe it’s not that you necessarily feel you’re is unorganized (messy room, papers and film scattered across the floor), but what really keeps us from clarity on our path is that our minds are unorganized.”

When we don’t have solid practices of connecting to ourselves and sorting through our thoughts and emotions, we feel disoriented and disconnected from the self and our callings. We don’t have access to the stream of our subconscious, the river beneath the river. Stagnant. Standing in a cloud of fog throwing spaghetti at walls that we can’t even see.

We don’t live as if to be lead and that is a true tragedy. The universe is all the time, everyday screaming and flailing it’s hands trying to get our attention, to lead us where we are meant to be and we do everything in our power to look away from the path ahead.

We squander our emotions and call it noble. We dilute our truth with tonics. We fear solitude like it might just eat us alive.

and that fuckin’ sucks yo- to hide from that feeling when something happens in perfect synchronicity and you know the universe is pulling you.

That feeling is maybe the best I’ve ever felt. Like the first few moments of falling in love except there’s no filling up on ego or strings attached.

It’s pure. It’s flow. It’s unconditional love that relies on no thing or person. That is how we are MEANT to live everyday. That is how our lives were intended to unfold in every second.

To do that, we have to be better listeners. And that takes time and practice and solitude and routine.

There are times when I feel like I’m writing poems and feeding them to a black hole. There are times when I wonder if the work I am passionate about is denial of “real adult life” or I’m the only sensitive hussy who needs it out here.

But the more I acknowledge that fear, the more people reach out to me in need of these tools, in need of guidance and I am not guide- I am only a learner and with the tools to turn people to listen to the guide within themselves. The universe says hold on, babe. We need people like you here doing this work.

I can’t shake people into waking up I can only share what I know and pray they finally deem themselves worthy of doing the work. DO YOUR INNER WORK! I want to shout from the mountain tops. And I do. But I cannot force that.

It comes with the unfolding and everyone must learn the lessons themselves. I have not only accepted that but fallen in love with that mystery and the magic of metamorphosis. For someone like me, it is difficult to release the need to help others but also a relief. For by helping myself, I help others.

So friend, if you feel lost, if you feel stagnant and hurt, disorganized, and anxious- it is a blessing. It is your emotions guiding you into your inner world where finally you can stop being a victim of circumstance and begin creating the life you want to live.

If we tend to our inner worlds, drop in daily to our hearts, we get to co-create our lives with universal grace. We get to stop worrying and start being excited and taking action. We are unshackled from this place of in-action. Fear releases it’s grip from around our necks. We drop in. And that dropping in is thrilling.

Find what works for you and do it. Your path will be lit up with torches and signs scattered between sidewalks and dark alleys, in moon light and the singing of cicadas.

And when the universe meets you on a 4AM bus to Burma, you will recognize it deep in your bones and sing music into a dark dirty kind of night.