Here is where I’ve been trying to get but now that I’m here, I want to be there.

I’ve worked my ass off to get this job, to live in this place, have this much money, to have this kind of relationship, to get this body, to get these clothes, to get this car, to take these vacations. But now, I want that, not this.

I want what she has. I want that hair, I want that job, I want that dog, I want that boyfriend, I want that trip, I want that body. I want that life.

Why can’t I have that? What makes her so special? What did she do to get those things? How do I get those things? How do I get her life?

I have to work harder. I have to work smarter. I need to try more. Goddamnit, if you actually try, you could have that life. If you actually gave a shit. But while you watch that show on Netflix, she is accepting a promotion at work. While you sleep in till 7:30, she has already worked out and drank a protein shake… no wonder her body is smokin. While you spend your money on a night out, she is investing it in her 401k.

You need to work harder. You need to make sacrifices if you want that life. That’s just part of it. Too bad. Get rid of Netflix and Hulu and Amazon Prime and delete your social media accounts, no more sleeping in, even if your body is aching for more rest. Do a 30 day cleanse. Give up alcohol. Sugar? Absolutely not. You’re stupid for asking that question. You’re stupid for even wanting sugar. Mediating is a waste of time. It would be more productive to do 100 squats per day. A nice butt is what you really want. You must work out every day. You must eat perfectly. You must constantly educate yourself and read AT LEAST one book per month. Don’t forget podcasts. You have to be informed by new ideas from Tim Ferris and Joe Rogan. Keep up on the news or else you will look like an ignorant bimbo when politics come up at dinner conversations. Have a least one hobby. The more the better. You need to be able to impress all the strangers you meet… and don’t meet.

Because in order for you to be there, you need to get away from here. Here is not where you want to be. Here is not the end goal. Here is where you thought you needed to get to be happy, but you were wrong. And let’s be honest, once you get there, you’ll realize you are not there yet. But that’s part of this life.

No one is there yet.

That girl’s life you wanted – it’s not what she wants. She wants your life. She wants your free spirit. She wants your flexibility. She wants to sleep in. She wants to eat ice cream, a whole pint. She wants to have a beer, not a vodka soda. She wants to quit her job ’cause she hates it. But she has to climb the corporate ladder to get there. She has to do all the things to get there because here is not good enough. And, god forbid, if she slips up, falls out of her routine, her 1.5 hour meeting turned into 2 hours because she ended up having a meaningful conversation with a friend, she has to play catch up. She has the guilt now. She did not stick with her plan. She had let go of control for a second. No wonder she is not there.

She gave in to the here. Here is a sneaky creature. It tries to get in the way of getting there. But little does she know that inside the here, is her.

Here is where she finds her way to there. Here is where she figured out where there is. Here is where she figures out how to get there. Or if she even wants to get there.

So here I am, not there. And I will get there with the help of here. Equally important, intertwined in me, taking turns leading me.