It is something we all live with every day. You constantly hear that voice. It’s that voice that tells you if you will thrive in this life or just survive. That voice is everything! It is the single most important positive change you can make in yourself that will steer your future in a totally different direction.

What is that voice?  That voice is your thoughts. It is your self-talk.  Your mind is constantly directing you according to your thoughts. Your thoughts have such an affect on your mind that it can determine the entire course of your life. It can determine if you are going to live a happy life or one of misery and depression. Your thoughts control your mind. Your thoughts are everything. And when you are naturally wired to think negatively, you live that kind of life.

I met the most wonderful man recently. This man was absolutely perfect for me. I don’t think I’ll ever meet another man more perfect for me than he was. This creature was like a unicorn. He checked every single box and some. I’ve never respected a man more in my entire life! And well, we aren’t speaking at all now. Why? I’ll tell you exactly why. My self talk is shit!! Or, it was until I lost him and realized how it all happened.  I’ll admit, I’m still a little broken up about losing this one and not sure how I’ll move past this completely.

Everything started out perfectly. It was as if it was meant to be. As if God had planned this out all along. As if I had been preparing my entire life to meet this man. But, leave it to me, and my shitty self-talk to ruin it. You see, he had warned me early on that he was never going to let negativity into his life.

He said he protected himself from it like a new parent protects their new baby. Uhhhh, wow! Like I said… unicorn. I respected that way of thought so much. Especially since all my life I have always been in argumentative, combative relationships with real losers that didn’t respect me at all… all because of my self talk I might add. I thought I was shit so I didn’t expect much from a partner.  So anyway, I loved that he was so different!  I was like “wow, I need this in my life.” After all, the last few years had been full of me doing everything I could to create a positive environment, to move past previous hurts and heartbreaks and negativity. But to be perfectly honest, I knew my self- talk was still not healthy. I would try but fail.  I think I knew in my heart of hearts that he was going to see me for me eventually. Eventually he would see what a negative mess I really was and how heartbreaking would that be. So I tried my best to be positive and not let that negative self-talk win. And I did fine for a while. It wasn’t the smartest thing for me to think, like I could really hide all that negativity from someone that could truly see me, see my soul.

It only took a few negative comments for him to decide it wasn’t worth it. He warned me each time. And each time he did I beat myself up! I was trying my best to stay positive so how did that negative sneak out!? I was smiling, listening to uplifting music, protecting my energy, protecting my vibes or at least I thought I was. But how can you if your thoughts tell you you aren’t good enough. You aren’t really smart like he says you are. You aren’t really deserving of more than one liners like he says. You aren’t really a beautiful soul. You are shit and he will find out and leave you like everyone else has.

Well let me tell you. I was broken. But in this brokenness I cried out for help. He had described me and I thought, that’s not me! But because I knew he could be trusted, I knew it actually was me and I knew I couldn’t fight it any more. After all, it was costing me a my perfect partner. I begged to be shown what I needed to do to fix me. The answer came to me serendipitously. Just like I knew all along. It was time I changed my thoughts. It’s time to create a habit of thinking positively.  As those negative thoughts come I simply toss them out and replace them with good ones. That simple. Don’t beat yourself up when they come, just immediately correct them.

I tell my mind how wonderful I am! My soul is beautiful and there isn’t another one out there like it! You, my dear, are also a beautiful, magnificent, unique soul and you deserve to be spoken to as if you love you. You’ve got to LOVE YOU!  You know you deserve it! Fill your cup and when you do you’ll have so much more to offer your soul mate, your family, the world.

For more info on how to change your thoughts and ultimately change your life, please check out Marissa Peer and her website and webinars.