I’ve never felt like an adult and I really doubt I ever will, but I do catch myself using very practical household products now that I’m older. I mean, I get excited to buy things that my teenage self would have found quite hilarious. My internal grandmother is definitely showing, and I don’t give a hoot. If you are also obsessed with these seemingly mundane inventions, you too might actually be a grownup:

1. Bag clips.

I’m not talking about those crappy ones with magnets on the back that break after you use them twice. (What the hell bag do you need to mount on the fridge anyway? Still trying to figure this out.) Oh no, I’m talking about some sleek, heavy-duty beauties that work for anything and last forever. Don’t get in my way at a kitchen gadget closeout sale.

2. Poo-pourri.

How did I exist for so many years without this completely necessary product? The day I discovered its existence, I bought it for every single man in my life – and myself. You know, to leave in the bathroom for when they come over. My toilet obviously smells like roses. At least it does now … and the best part is that it no longer smells like roses sprayed on top of a pile of manure. Just roses.

3. Pantiliners.

I mean, I still don’t use them all the time. Who does that? Underwear is meant to be worn and then washed. If you’re using pantiliners to prolong the amount of time you can wear it … well, let’s just say I’m glad I’m not your gyno. Candida here we come. I have found that they can be very useful in reducing accidental staining, though, which somehow just never occurred to my younger self, who trashed precious undies willy nilly.

4. Deodorant.

Before you say anything, I didn’t smell when I was younger. I swear! Even when I exercised, I just didn’t. I’m very sensitive to my own body odor, so trust me, I’d have started in with the deodorant much earlier if it was an issue. Then I grew into my hormones and the rest is history. Now I exist in the world of the normal, where I (almost) always remember to put it on.

5. Hand scrub.

Remember when your mom told you that the first signs of aging show up in the neck and the hands? Yeah, me too. That doesn’t mean I paid it any mind in my youth. I was going to live forever and never get old, obviously. Then I was at the store one day browsing all the discounted, possibly expired beauty products I’ve never used. I became fascinated with the idea of natural items such as walnut shell scrub smoothing out my still perfectly normal hands, so I bought it. Now I use it whenever I want an arbitrary reason to pat myself on the back for fighting the aging process.

6. Cellulite-fighting products.

These are truly hilarious, because they literally do not get rid of cellulite. Can they use caffeine and other ingredients to temporarily plump and smooth the area? Sure. Do they somehow help remove excess water from the fat cells that exacerbate the lumpy appearance of cellulite? Doubtful. Do they cost way too much for something that doesn’t even pretend it will give you any lasting results? Absolutely. Do we all still buy them? Sure we do. Don’t want to look like normal people whose bodies are aging naturally!

7. Mouthwash.

I always thought mouthwash was for dentists and old people. Now I apparently am that old person. Go figure, it’s also the most awesome lazy way to keep your mouth germs at bay. Inflamed gums? Mouthwash! Plaque buildup? Mouthwash! Want fresh breath without actually brushing your teeth? You guessed it! Who needs the dentist anyway? Only responsible adults keep up with their dentist visits … oh … uh oh.

8. Tea balls.

Yes, you read that correctly. Every grown up loves a good tea ball. If that grown up drinks tea. If not, see the next item on the list. It’s that thing you put the loose tea in so it doesn’t leak into your hot water … once you get older and realize that all the cool classy adults use expensive loose tea and they are secretly sneering at your Trader Joe’s tea bags. Because, you know, even tea snobs are a thing.

9. French press.

You guessed it! If coffee is your drink of choice, you haven’t properly lived until you’ve bought your very own French press. Is it a pain in the butt to use and to clean? Of course, but then again, that’s what adulthood is all about – complicating your life unnecessarily so that you can look good to the other adults in the neighborhood. Weird, sounds a lot like high school. Oh, and like, better tasting coffee and stuff.

10. Invisible socks.

Oooh, they’re magic! As someone who has never held a “real” adult job but tries to live in the fringe world of 5 different side hustles at any given moment, I didn’t even know that I needed these. And actually, maybe I don’t. I’ve never owned business casual flats in my life, but damn if they don’t make my Adidas Originals look way more fresh. If you’re confused, these are the tiny little socks that look like the reject nylons they give you at the store when you try on shoes. Except you have to pay for these. Wait, I should be stealing those stupid footies!

11. Night lights.

I used to think my grandparents were so very lame for having those cheesy seashell night lights in all the bathrooms and the fake candle flames in the hallways. I mean, why would you need those? Then I started tripping over stuff (okay, my own feet) in the night and realized that yes, they actually serve a useful purpose. Also that apparently I have no idea how far apart anything is in my house. Still, I swear I’ll never get seashells. I’m way cooler than that. I am.

12. Mildew cleaner.

Ha! Who needs that? Only crappy old houses in damp climates get mildew and mold! That was all very well and good when I lived in the desert, but when you move somewhere where it rains … you realize that you might actually die of some random lung disease if you do not in fact pay attention to these things. Mildew and mold are serious business and so I now come armed with a spray bottle of chemicals that may be just as likely to kill me.

13. Garbage disposal fresheners.

First of all, if you actually use your garbage disposal properly, you are already an adult. Congratulations. Secondly, if you think about what you’re putting down there, you definitely need something to clean that thing. Imagine you kept shoving random food into your mouth and just never ever brushed your teeth. Well, that’s probably what your nasty garbage disposal smells like! Once I realized this I got me some little cleaner packets, stat. Grown up status official.

14. Stain pre-treatment.

I’m not exactly proud of this, but when I was younger I’d basically get rid of anything I’d stained without the slightest attempt to rectify the problem. I’m a messy girl – I literally still cannot own any white or light-colored items of clothing. When I got a bit older, though, I began to take advantage of the wide world of products designed specifically to rectify my human errors. Looks like I’m not the only one who can’t get food from her plate to her mouth safely.

15. Shower caps.

I’m glad no one else sees me when I shower, because I find these necessary but embarrassing. I don’t wash my hair every time I shower, because honestly who does anymore? It’s bad for your scalp anyway. That being said, I am short and if I do not cover it … it’s going to get wet. No matter how I try to avoid it, the outcome is inevitable. My choices are deal with it or wear something that makes me look like a crazy lady. I end up going with crazy. You know you’re an adult when you stop caring how you look. Right?

16. Colanders.

Once upon a time, I would – I swear – hold veggies in my hands under running water and attempt to effectively rinse them like that. Most of the time I’d lose a few into the drain, and somehow I never thought maybe I should try something different. Go figure, eventually I remembered that handy, simple and cost-effective tool my mother once used. Now I wash produce with the comforting knowledge that I won’t sacrifice any of it to the garbage disposal troll.

17. Squeegees.

Once upon a time I only thought of a squeegee as something that you used to clean your windshield at a gas station. It’s crazy how clueless young people are about the everyday tools that adults use to basically exist in the world. Now I use them to clean my windows, to clean my shower doors, to clean … basically anything with glass! If you don’t use one in your shower, start, seriously. It’ll change your life. (I’m a grandma and I LOVE IT.)

18. Measuring cups.

Ah, once, I lived on the edge. I eyeballed measurements and mixed ingredients with abandon. I thought, it’ll taste fine! News flash – that wasn’t always the case. Turns out you can’t really do that unless you’re a culinary prodigy, especially when you’re baking. No one wants my cakes at their parties, let’s just put it that way. Now I measure to the umpteeth degree, almost to the point of obsession, but hey! Everything tastes better.

19. A sewing machine.

To be honest, I learned to sew as a kid living with a hippie mother who thought we were prairie settlers. I even know how to spin my own yarn. True story. I got a bit older and erased those memories, desperate to appear cool to my high school peers. It took me about twenty years to start again, and now I literally sew everything. I’m obsessed. When you’re a shorty like me, it’s so much easier to hem all your pants than try to search for the correct length! … But I guess that doesn’t make me sound like much of an adult, does it?

20. Facial wax.

I’m not sure if this makes me feel like an adult, it just makes me annoyed. This was never supposed to happen to me. Then, one fateful day, I saw a terrifyingly long hair growing straight out of the bottom of my chin. It had begun. I’ve named him Billy. Since then, an increasing amount of fuzz has sprung up under there that I try to examine with a number of skillful mirror angles. You aren’t a grown woman until you’ve practically broken your nose getting close to a mirror examining your facial hair development.

21. High-necked shirts.

I saved this for last because I think it’s the most telling example of my newfound maturity. I used to wear low-cut shirts all the time as an insecure young woman who thought maybe my boobs were the best part of me. I hoped my cleavage distracted from my insecurities. Now I almost never wear revealing clothing because the last thing I want is a bunch of random dudes ogling me like a piece of meat. Sometimes I forget I even have boobs except as an inconvenience to stuff into my sports bra. And that, my friends, is how I truly know I’m a real adult.