“How are you doing?” They ask, and you reply, “Great thanks, you?” It’s a routine interaction, something you’re more than used to asking and responding in kind. When someone asks how you’re doing, you respond in an automated way with whatever adjective you’ve got sitting on your tongue. More often than not, though, it’s likely that your response isn’t quite how you’re really feeling.

As a whole, does our society actually want to know how we’re feeling? When someone asks you that question, are they really inquiring about how you are or are they expecting a routine, automatic answer? These questions come up more and more as the topic of mental health becomes a commonplace discussion and people work to build a community to improve overall well being instead of a taboo topic where forums of information are offered in corners of the internet for those in need to stumble upon.

People, as a whole, are on the hunt for answers. When we find an incurable disease, we work to find a cure. When we don’t understand something, we research for an answer. We look for knowledge that will help us on to the next step or the next thing. But in searching for answers, sometimes we forget that there’s a person behind the question. There’s an experience that’s the foundation for each answer, and some of the experience feeding these answers is darker than most people imagine.

Regardless of the increase in people who are ready to talk about mental health and awareness of mental health conditions like depression, anxiety disorders, and more, there’s more work to be done. Fortunately, much like many other journeys, this one begins with one step, too. And it begins with yourself which means there’s no time like the present.

The next time someone asks you how you’re doing, think about it for a moment. Have you paused to check-in with yourself, lately? It takes but a moment to ask yourself how you’re doing. Truly checking in with ourselves allows us to have a better awareness of how we’re feeling, but how we can affect the feelings of others, too. Unfortunately, the vulnerability of honesty is often too much for some to cope with. They may not have checked-in with themselves, and they may not be “great, thanks.”

Have you ever stopped to consider asking that question and answering honestly is one of the most important things you can do? So many times, others are waiting for a change to happen. They’re waiting to feel the impact of another’s action before they react or do something themselves. But in a world where suicidal thoughts outweigh monthly search volumes for suicide hotline phone numbers, we can’t wait much longer. There are other places in the country where the mental health support is so poor that 1 in 5 people feel badly about themselves. There are other places in our country where nearly 1 in 20 people have had thoughts where they’re better off dead. One is one too many.

There are, though, places in our country where these questions are being asked. It’s obvious there are some communities where mental health infrastructure is better. There are more clinics and there are fewer addicts; there’s more support and there are fewer people slipping through the cracks.

The questions we’re asking as a society don’t necessarily match up to the answers we need. Although Mental Health Awareness Month is May, there are so many ways to raise awareness that will help those who are in the dark. You can begin asking mental-health related questions that matter to yourself.

Awareness can save lives.