The dating scene can be tough, especially when you’re getting to know a new woman, so make a conscious effort to become better at first date talk. If you treat every first date like a job interview, not only will you be more nervous, but you’ll put the woman in the same position as someone trying to hire you. Go into the date with the confidence of a man that already knows a second date is coming, and demonstrate why she should be interested in you, instead of telling her why she should be interested. There’s nothing that you can do about someone you just don’t like, but these 3 ways of approaching a first date will ensure that you don’t mess up your shot at the right woman.

Follow along with a woman’s body language.

Do so while you’re talking and while she’s talking. If the date ends and you’re not sure how it went, then you weren’t paying attention. If she touches her hair, her neck, or your hand, you’re doing well. If she’s constantly leaning away from her seat, she’s already looking for an exit strategy. Also, while a woman can pretend to laugh along with the conversation, look to her face and how stiff her body gets to see if she’s really buying it. Pay attention to your own body language, too, so that she doesn’t misread what you say.

Listen carefully and turn what you’ve heard into unique questions.

For example, if you ask if she has any pets and she says that she has a dog, don’t take that as a sign to start talking about your own dog. Ask specific questions, such as how she trained her dog or where she takes it for a walk, and make eye contact until she’s finished. The longer she talks, the more you succeed. When she’s ready to know specific things about you, she’ll ask.

Use humor in a spontaneous fashion.

A quick comment about a clumsy server at a restaurant is more likely to go over than a formed joke with a punch line. Also, only make yourself the butt of the joke if it’s not exposing something negative about you. If you tell a story about getting slipping on ice, she’ll feel comfortable laughing along, because it’s something that could happen to anybody. But if you joke about spending too much time with your mother, she might view you as the joke.