Hey there, my name’s Smokey. I’m a 5-year-old Russian Blue mix, with silky grey fur and piercing green eyes. And apparently, according to my humans, I’m adorably irresistible.
There isn’t a day that goes by where my humans don’t tell me how adorable I am. They walk by me on numerous occasions throughout the day – most of the time when I’m just minding my own business sunning on my favorite rug or lounging on my cat tree – and suddenly out of nowhere, they stop, tell me that they “just can’t help themselves” and shower me with hugs and kisses.
Sometimes, I don’t mind it; in fact, on rare occasion, at the right time with the right human, I quite enjoy it. I let them know I am enjoying it by letting out an audible “purr” and lean into their hand with the side of my head so they can scratch behind my ear.
But other times, their affection is unwelcome; It’s nothing personal, I just don’t want to be bothered.
My typical response to their unwelcome advances goes as follows:
I start with an obvious look of annoyance and discontent. Sometimes, the unwanted affection ends there, but other times, that’s not enough of a warning.
In those cases, I then proceed to verbally express my discontent with a “Please get off me now” meow. It’s usually then that they get the hint, respect my wishes and give me some space.
But then, there are those rare occasions, when even then they do not want to listen. They continue to force themselves on to me, telling me they “just can’t help themselves because I’m just too adorably irresistible” and proceed with their unwanted advances of hugs and kisses. I try to wriggle my way out of their clutches to no avail; it is then that I decide “enough is enough” and claw the shit out of them.
They know why I clawed them. They know they were pushing their boundaries too far. But even knowing this, they’ll sometimes shout, “bad cat!” and blame me for my lashing out, despite them being the ones who didn’t respect my boundaries.
Listen, I get that I am ridiculously good looking. I even astonish myself with my handsomeness. Sometimes, I catch a glimpse of myself as I walk by a mirror and I say, “Damn, I am one handsome fella.” But that handsomeness is not an invitation to use me for your affection at your will without my consent. Instead of looking at my handsomeness as a barometer for whether you can place your hands on me, I ask that you instead listen to my body language, my nonverbal and verbal signals.
When I want affection, I will let you know. When I don’t, I will let you know.
And with that, I leave you humans with one final piece of wisdom: Stop using that same lame ass excuse as a reason to justify forcing yourself on another human being without his or her consent.