Society. Ugh. What an asshole. We are born and then it’s like, oh hey tiny baby, here’s this f@%king list of rules on how to be a “proper” human. Forget trying to breathe or say what you feel or cuss or cross the street where there isn’t a cross walk. Oh and here is the Emily Post book, be sure to memorize this so people can decide whether you have english royalty like class. Pip-pip cheerio! Thank you for your baby gift that was written down on a list with your name next to it so I could remember who bought it and then sit down and write 50 robotic thank you cards to make sure you know I am grateful and I was raised properly. (middle finger, eye roll) I mean seriously. Whyyyyyyy? And don’t give me a list of obvious robotic why’s either. Those answers are blatantly obvious. Call me crazy, but I am a huge fan of authenticity and sincerity. If it feels insincere and you feel heavier because you HAVE to meet some type of standard then it really defeats the purpose. Don’t get me wrong, I love a beautifully hand written thank you, an honest card, surprise gifts, sincere compliments, pretty stationary and lovely moments. I am not a fan of being told what to do and when to do it. Kiss my ass. It’s as if we were given these standards in order to place judgement on someone. Some traditions are lovely and if doing these things spark joy we should do them. However, if I give you a gift it is because I am honestly giving you a little piece of my heart. I do not need you to send me an extra thank you card in the mail to validate how giving I am. Congratulations, you gave someone a gift! Here is the reward for your tender ego! You are such a giving human, you deserve a statue erected in your honor!

I don’t know man,

It’s like something pushed me over the edge of my tolerance for bullshit and I have tap danced across the stage like Jim Carey and at the end in an opera like tone and expressive conductor arms, I sing, ” S#@k iiiiiiiiiiiiiit!”

Yup. I said it. I am done trying to articulate myself in a way that proves who I am to you and what words you find acceptable in doing so. You know when you get around your best girls you cuss like a sailor, let your hair down and say what is really on your mind instead of gritting your teeth into a smile holding back reality. If you don’t, you should. Colorful words if used properly are certainly a sign of intelligence. I mean there is a place in this world for yogic philosophy through the eyes of a Wayne’s World, Half Baked, Dazed and Confused, Tommy Boy quoting Wutang killer bee who loves a properly placed run on sentence that wakes you up and grounds you all at once. How do we relate with one another with surface level bullshit pleasantries allllll. the. time. It’s fucking exhausting. People want real, but when you actually get real it’s like, Oh my God, TMI!? Uh-huh, yea. If discussing real life expansion of consciousness with a little flavor offends by all means refer to the first sentence….I mean if you’re in my life and seeing my photos I am not going to use them as a facade title page. I left my white gloves back at William and Kate’s. If you’re not laughing, relaxed, relating to my thoughts and experiences, as my old school girls would say, “peace and the bye bye, dude.”