It was Christmas time and I was nine. I got dressed for school and casually walked out of my room, ready to hop on the bus wearing one of my mom’s red turtlenecks as a dress (it was the late 80’s) with a giant black belt, black tights, black boots, a santa hat and a black laundry sack over my shoulder.

“My mom smiled and giggled at my boldness and said, Hey there! You wearing that to school? Are you one of Santa’s elves?” To which I smiled and replied, “No, I’m the head elf!”

She laughed and replied, “Well, alright then, let’s go!”

I wore that outfit to school like a damn boss! I swear I just did the damn thing. It makes me laugh to think of myself doing this? We can not fear even our silliest of moments. When I glance back I realize this was my truest self. My fearless, bold spirit! I just did stuff like this all the time?

I used to go spend time in my mom’s art classroom. She has now taught elementary art for over 30 years. She has taught me about art as an essential element my entire life. Which encouraged me to explore and expanded my mind, my emotions, my perspective, the way I see light, color, hear music, write, create and think.

She had this poster hung in her room that I believe I bought for her. It was a bunch of Dalmatian puppies and one of the puppies stood out. Instead of black and white spots the pup had colorful paint splattered spots! The message painted across the top boldy stated, “Dare to be different!” Things like this tiny message were scattered throughout my childhood and in a world filled with uncreative “Live, Laugh, Love” signs I choose the words my children will remember reading wisely just as my mother did for me.

I always had ideas or projects I wanted to bring to life. To this day my Mom always says two things to me, one, ” You can never mess up in art!” (which took on so many deeper meanings for me and became more than just physically painting over or “fixing a mess up” while creating something) Two, “Let your conscience be your guide, trust your gut.” (which she announced to me as I walked out the door to drive around in my big red bronco at age 16 and also took on deeper meaning as I have grown older.)

Amongst many of the simple and necessary life lessons we receive my Dad carries bits of, “I grew up riding around the country to the old country store to buy 10 cent candy, moon pies and R.C.Cola in my Grandaddy’s pick-up truck! Where he heard bits of old school wisdom in the accent known as the Carolina Brouge.” One my Dad always says, ” Never be afraid of the word, no! Ask, all they can say is, no.”

You know what, I am not afraid of the word no nor am I afraid to use the word no.

These small consistent messages instilled my spirit with empowering bravery. The wisdom has evolved through my studies which have translated new messages through my consciousness leading me to go for it, ask for it and be prepared to receive it….or not!?

Because of each and every one of my family members, my tribe of warrior women and how they have all inspired me and continue to do so my inner voice even during the darkest of times will always be:

You never fail, you learn! Follow your joy! Follow your intutition! Don’t overthink it! Believe in who you are and what you have to offer the world! There are no rules! Never work for free unless it’s from a genuine place or for the elderly! Be proud of who you are! Ask for help, but do things your damn self! Take shit from no one! Be compassionate and kind! Explore! Try new things! Be brave! What other people think of you has nothing to do with you, unless it does, in that case set your ego aside and make it right! Have a sense of humor and quick wit! You have the freedom to choose who you want to be and what you want your message to be in this world!

Speak up! You deserve to be heard! Look people in the eye! Hold your head high! Shoulders back! When you enter a room you have a presence, make it a strong one! If someone attempts to make you feel small, hold your head higher, smile, pivot and exude your badass energy elsewhere! Move with purpose! Have a firm handshake! Do what you say you will do! Insecurities hold you back, face them head on and be patient with your short comings! Bring your visions to life and allow them to unfold without needing a mapped out plan! The plan will go to shit and you’ll be paddling upstream instead of just dropping the damn paddles to see where the river takes you!

We each have to DECIDE to be heard! As if we finally say to ourselves, middle finger to the sky! Head High! Fuck the haters! Hair blowing in the wind! High knee Beyonce stomp out from behind the curtain like a force of nature! Care! Inspire! Believe! This is what comes out of me! I have something to say! I will do whatever is necessary to express my visions with grace and I will be heard! We all have it within! Each and every one of us has a message and a way in which we were meant to express our gifts!

Our gift is that which makes us feel ALIVE! PEACEFUL! HAPPY! STRONG! HEARD! BEAUTIFUL! BRILLIANT! CAPABLE! FIERCE! FILLED WITH PURPOSE! CONFIDENCE! CREATIVE! INNOVATIVE! SOLUTION AND GROWTH ORIENTED! TEACHABLE! DYNAMIC! FREE!

It is our choice, but it comes from somewhere far beyond ourselves. We know it when we feel it. There is no desperation or doubt. Our spirit transcends those trivial emotions and we just do the damn thing! It feels like it flows from deep within. It comes with ease and flows through us, something divine is working through each of us so we may emerge and positively impact the world around us! It doesn’t have to come in large scales. We weren’t all meant to be heard globally. Perhaps, even our smallest message will spark the heart, soul or human that will be heard on a global scale! It could quite possibly be the quietest of voices that have the most blissful, strong and pivitol messages to help communities grow and communicate powerful sentiments that inspire one another? No matter how small our message may feel, we create ourselves from day one. As a child before the world told us to fall in line and stifle our greatness we had a fire within!

In case you have forgotten about that fierce, imaginative, being, take some time to connect to that part of yourself!

Be bold! Be brave! What you are seeking is seeking you! Go find your inner “head elf!”