Poser:
noun
“a person who acts in an affected manner in order to impress others.”

When I was a kid this was the biggest insult. It always felt sort of punk rock to be able to be your badass self and see someone fake the funk and call their lame ass out with one simple word, POSER! @#$^ a poser, dude. Keep your lame attempts at rad and actually do something rad. Keep your commercialized rhetoric and trendy bandwagon jumping self away from me, please and thank you.
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When we first start out in any field we are trying to make a name for ourselves and create a community we can call “home.” We say yes to all things, we collaborate with everyone and we attend all things involving our new venture. This is all wonderful, I guess. I did all of those things and made some authentic connections as well as some life long friends. This is the place where we need to find truth not only in ourselves, but in others. We know our strengths and weaknesses. I know my strength is picking up on what is authentic and what is complete bullshit but this took a ton of guidance and learning to trust my insticts. Believe me I have done the leg work. I have given the benefit of the doubt to more people than I should have and often ignore those first vibes in an attempt to judge less, accept more. This is where we have to learn to trust ourselves because in reality we know “who has it” and who does not. What is, “it” and how do we know? We can not decide who has “it” for one another. We have to decide what “it” is for us. What qualities does someone who has “it” hold for me. What do I see in them that I feel is real and inspiring?

Then one day you have “been there, done that.” You have seen the light. You can spot a fake ass attempt and recognize true knowledge, true good vibrations and leadership from a mile away. I watch the networking process as it unfolds and roll my eyes. I hate everything networking. I will not go to a networking event, a church, a jewelry party, a kid’s birthday party or dress my children up in pretentious smocked wedgie onsies at age 5 to seal the deal as number one elitists climber groomed for the country club bunko circuit. Do not glad hand someone and blow sunshine to create an opportunity for yourself. Say it, mean it and do not use people to get ahead. Period. Share your passions, your way and do you. Man, I digress. Did I mention inauthenticity?

In the yoga world I have seen more fake energy healing, fake euphoric flowery lingo, fake studio owners, fake smiles, fake knowledge, fake vibes, stolen ideas, stolen color choices, stolen studios, stolen studio time and so much more. It’s obnoxious. I roll my eyes at it. Yea, I do. I am being realistic. I have also seen the complete opposite and been around authentic energy and inspiring humans. I must give my disclaimer of my imperfections and mess ups that I am aware of and work on daily. Moving on. Now I am careful who I give my praise and time to because I no longer want to associate with climbers or newbies who went to a workshop or read a book and can now pretend to be an expert on XYZ. Or the egotistical teacher who calls upon her deciples for praise, accolades and gifts upon her alter while grooming them for future endeavors. Get. Out. Of. My. Face. Your energy is outwardly appealing and at times some are even mesmerizing, your true energetic field is filled with idea stealing, inauthentic, generic, boring attempts at being an original, creative, awesome woman. Your aura reads beige, your knowledge sounds like a book on tape that cuts off half way through because the tape got twisted in my boom box aaaaand your style is bunk. Yup, directed at quite a few who have painted their morale dulling stench amongst the “dreamers and the doers, the round pegs in the square holes.”

The lessons for me were learned in many ways through attempting to see people through rose colored glasses. It bites me every single time! There is one huge truth, don’t get snowed by or mixed up with these people while attempting to grow your authentic business or community. Be yourself and fuck the “your vibe attracts your tribe” mentality because that phrase is played out. let’s take it back to the old school and say, “if you book them, they will come!” -Wayne’s World 2. You are you and while having “content and connections” in your corner may feel right at the time you will look back and think, why did I invite that fake news into my house!?

P.S. Your chakras are aligned when you stand in your truth. No matter how many feathers you may ruffle by your honesty! Stay grounded. Follow your call to greatness. Feel your inner goddess. Believe in your path. Let go of posers. Don’t let people call you negative for being realistic. I call you negative for being a poser.