A while ago a friend said to me, very seriously; “Wendy You  see symbols in things and read into situations that which is not there.   How you see  the world ( angels, wonder, magic), it is not so”.

I thought to myself; ‘perhaps he is right’.  His comment knocked the light out of my world. Then when I looked on Facebook; I saw many other people posting comments and thought ‘really Wendy you are becoming cliched. You are offering very little. Its best if you stop commenting. You are not needed’.  I looked around that saw many other people are now trained as healers and I thought ‘You are not such a great healer, the world can get by without you’. And I stopped printing my business cards & giving out my leaflets.

The original comment crept into every area of my life. My book was completed and at the printer’s but I had no more words. I thought to myself; ‘perhaps you have only one book; you are lucky to get that printed,’ and found that I could no longer write.  I was fortunate enough to go on an assignment to India (for Kindred Spirit) and again my work lacked energy. I could not put pen to paper. I thought “Who are you to write about India?”

With no magic; and no writing; my vibration seemed to sink lower & lower. There was no communication with Celestial Bell, ‘my’ personal angel . How could their be? So I thought to myself “perhaps your time as an Angel Reader and Healer is over. It was obviously just a phase. You are  going to have to think about how you are going to earn your living from now on”.

Then came the day of my eldest son’s Josh’s birthday. We had dinner; we went to the beach to walk. I knew that in theory my cup was spilling over. I should have been in a state of extreme happiness as I was with my most beloved people. And on one level I was. Yet on another level I wasn’t. I observed the magnificent sea; the light shone on the far horizon. It seemed very far away.

Josh asked me ‘Mum why are you pensive?’ and I replied from my state of negativity. ‘I am afraid that I have run out of words and healing’. I looked  at the changing weather; one minute colour; next  grey; one minute sun; next rain. My son looked so aghast on my behalf that I found enough faith within myself to ask Spirit for help. I asked ‘please show me a way forward’.

We drove back home along the tidal road ; A hawk swooped down ahead of us and seemed to be leading the car. The meaning of Hawk – message from spirit. Then a few minutes later a black cat shot across the path.  I felt a slight lift in my heart. The world began to hum slightly again

But it was when we arrived back home that the real magic began. For an hour or so the house was completely surrounded by Rainbows:

When I woke up the next morning it was to a curious golden glow; The sky was so bright and there were yet more rainbows; but it was 5am and I was not quick witted enough to photograph them.

I don’t know how the rainbows caused a holy realignment but they did. I was immediately better. My words returned; so did my healing ability. So did my world.

I thought long and hard about how I had allowed  the disconnect to happen. Why had I allowed my self to be so influenced? Part of the reason was that the person who had made the original comments is someone who is very dear to me; I had no barrier against them.   Then I am learning about power. This was a useful experience; a lesson to use words with care. And to know my own power; to make sure that I remain  contained; and that I have awareness of my worth.  Not to take my world view for granted. To be careful in how I encourage and respond to people.  I also realised that I must take healing,energy work and indeed spirit much more seriously; I used to be quite laissez faire about it. But no longer!

Then I also had compassion. The person who had doubted me  had  no intention to hurt. And my reaction had allowed me a glimpse of their world. A world without rainbows; angels and magic is a grim world.

I hope that this is a useful story; in terms of holding faith. Here is a message from CB:

‘Be without doubt; know that all humans hold within them the capacity for joy; the capacity for despair. Although you judge yourself; through your surrender you were able to heal; the glimpse of the grey world will assist you in sensitivity and give you the knowlege & strength to heal others’.

It is good to feel blessed; joyful; to see colour again and be able to bring my  gifts to the world.