After a few weeks being stuck in my money life – I decided to try something totally different – I decided to see if my past lives were blocking me. I signed up for an Akhasic records session – fingers crossed that I had not taken some witchy vow of poverty – but excited to see what I may find out about my soul’s lifetimes.

So, there I was sitting in front of my laptop, waiting for a new friend to tell me all my past life secrets, and hopefully shed some clarity on my current irritation around making money for my work.

“Do you meditate?” she asked me as we opened up our video conference call.

“Yes, I do,” I responded, hoping that my mindful breathwork, my mala bead evening ritual, and habitual guided meditations would give me a gold star in the spiritual realm.

“Ok, I will now say three prayers to open your records,” Silvana, my guide, stated.

To imagine the Akashic Records, Silvana says to picture a file cabinet where every soul’s past and present lives. She says by getting deep into meditation, certain beings can get quiet enough to receive the information from each of our spirit guides, who manage the file cabinets.

Silvana says often in our present lives, we’re often blocked by what has happened in our past lives. You’ve probably heard this before – if you didn’t heal it in your past life, it will come back until you’ve moved past the lesson. In that context, Akashic Records professionals act as librarians with the key cards to move us past our baggage, past, and present.

As we’re getting ready to open my file cabinet, I feel an odd sense of calm. I’ve been on the enlightenment journey for quite some time; I’ve received psychic readings, energy clearings, reiki attunements and about anything else you could think of. Most of the time, I feel like I’m about to squirm right out of lotus pose and into another dimension, but today, I feel eager and ready to see what’s in my proverbial files.

Silvana gave me permission to hit the record button on our video chat, my files were officially open. I pressed record and stared ahead like an eager puppy at treat time.

A multitude of thoughts ran through my head, such as, “What were they going to tell me? Was I a murderer in a past life? I sure hope not…”

As the worrisome thoughts danced through my frontal lobe, I urged myself to sit down and be quiet, as my brain was basically popped open like the hood of my car and everyone was watching.

Samos spoke, likely eager to interrupt my thought dance,  “Your spirit guides show me an office. You are sitting at a desk, very overwhelmed, yet you keep saying yes to each paper that comes to you.”

I agree and immediately guide the conversation right past my people-pleasing tendencies and towards who I was in other dimensions.

What came next amazed me:

“I am seeing a past life,” Silvana said, “You’re running in a field. By your clothing, I’m assuming it’s about the end of the 19th century.”

I’m listening, ears perked up.

“In this life, all of your sisters have gotten married but you. You are like the black sheep of the family. You would rather spend your time writing poems by the lake than worrying about getting a husband. This greatly irritates your parents and they are always pushing you to find a husband,” she continued.

I was stunned – the parallels of this life to mine were uncanny.

• The woman in this lifetime’s name was Danielle. Mine is Gabrielle.

• Her occupation was a hopeful writer. This is also mine.

• Her flaw and irritation is being unmarried and focusing on her words. That is also, very much so mine. In the past 16 months, my younger sister and all of my closest friends have gotten married. Leaving everyone and their mother to ask me, ‘Why not you’?

• But, the biggest realization was my past life self, Danielle, was told again and again she’d never make money as a writer.

Silvana shared with me that Danielle published her collection of poems in the New York Times. I was shaking in my boots at this point. She continued to tell me that Danielle was pleased to have her poems continuously grace the pages of the newspaper, but what she really wanted was a book. Though she did go on to get married, her family life interrupted this dream of seeing her words in a leather-bound format.

This made my childhood make so much sense. My family always recounts stories of me, hiding in my room with a typewriter, telling anyone that would listen, “I’m going to be a famous writer this time.”

Our session continued into other fascinating aspects, but my biggest takeaway was the connection to my strong word-ly desires. Knowing that my passion to write has come from a lineage of purpose, reinvigorated my desire to share my voice with the world and charge appropraitely for it – it’s ok to make money for our magic.

I encourage you to dive into your records! You never know what your past has inspired you to create in your present.