Why do you fight against

the world you were born into

The world that you asked for. Why do you push

on all its surfaces

Like they’re only there to hurt you, to trick you.

I’ve watched you my whole life. You’ve gone from

one struggle to the next. And now, I am almost

certain, that you like the weight.

Not just draped over your shoulders, securing you

in place, but you like the weight

Pulling downwards from each of your fingertips,

Too.

I’ve been watching you, and now

I am certain, that you do not bend, sway

or duck. There are no attempts to

preserve your peace. I have watched

you stand directly in pains course.

Like you’re praying for the moment

of contact. To add to the list of reasons why

you can’t. Why it’s not easy. Why it’s not

safe in your own mind.

Why do you fight

against the world you, yourself

created. Why can you not put down

yesterday’s words and stories. Are you really

unaware that you’ve already conquered

those battles, just by being you.

If you would simply treat it, like one

of your babies. And put all your yesterday’s down

to rest. Instead of keeping yourself

blinded and weighted.

I have watched

you and from you

I have learned. What not

to do with grief. I have watched

you and after you, I may

follow. But I will not choose

this weight to wear like a

badge of victory. No, I will

not wear your treasured badge of

hardship. So please, stop offering it

to me.