We have all experienced adversity and although we  differ wildly in how we respond – the question remains what does it mean to keep going in the midst of adversity?

To me, adversity is nothing more than a universal whisper letting us know that we need to be on a different path.  But no one wants to change. Change is hard so to surf on top of the tsunami of change, rather than get crushed by it, requires courage and resiliency.

We all evolve through adversity as there is no great story in the history of humanity without it. What many think are end moments – the truth is that is where it begins.

I also know that life is not linear – it is this wild spiral  – where eventually we all come to these moments where our Jenga block of life comes crumbling down and we are not prepared for it.

At different points in my own life, my adversities seemed insurmountable.  I, like many of you, struggled.

My greatest adversity wasn’t being raised by a disabled father and being teased and bullied to the point of developing a stutter, it wasn’t being drugged and raped at a company Christmas party, it wasn’t smashing my head off concrete leaving me reeling with post concussion syndrome, it wasn’t being forced into bankruptcy coming hours away from being homeless and it wasn’t being diagnosed with cancer. Although I experienced all of those things – my greatest adversity was being accused of sexual assault.

There is no plan, there is no timing – people never say “I knew everything was falling apart so I enacted a three point plan of restoration.” No – it is more “and then one day I asked myself how long am I going to carry this weight around.” There is no rhyme or reason or schedule or workbook to it. It is like a lightning bolt.  One day it’s tears, loneliness, questions, rock bottom – and then it is stars, music and fireworks.

The gift for me is sharing the story that I feared telling. Because, like all great stories, when you focus on what is the lesson you will quickly move beyond the adversity. And what did I learn?

I learned that our own adversity and subsequent suffering enables us to feel compassion for the suffering of others and to recognize loneliness in other people; to find them when they have become lost in the darkness, and sit with them.

We are all  born with the capacity to find the gift in the story – the hidden light not only in ourselves but in all events and all people; to then lift that light up and make it visible once again to be able to love the life we were meant  to lead.