The love that is being freed, when a relationship fails.

I woke up in this world as me. As I got older each piece of my being was shaved off by the world I opened my eyes too. It was only love that saved me. I don’t know if it was mine or yours. But somehow I found my way back to this place that was so simple before it all came about. We get a piece of peace when our eyes lock and love is shared. I woke up today and felt thankful for you.

I moved to Australia from the U.S a year ago. I have always been a strong woman that for the past 4 years has been content with being on my own. I don’t know if you’re a person that either feels powerful, or powerless when there is not a person to come home too, but for me, it has made me feel powerful and for a while, home has been where I lay my head. Until I met him.

I read a few months ago about how in your life you will meet three loves.

The first one will lift you off your feet, and completely paralyze your perception of reality because for the first time you are in true love, deep pure love. The purest love that you hear people talk about, and soon it would break you to pieces. The second love was one with a hint of pain from the last relationship and would make you wonder if you asked for a reckless shattering love that was so wrong in your heart but you went for it, because it felt so right. You knew the love you had was to be experienced, this too, would tear you apart. Unlike the first love, this one was risky and almost rebellious because it torched it’s fire on the rules. The third love, this one is the one that is told to know you, the deep love you felt once before, with the fire that wasn’t met with disaster, a still calmness that meets you halfway. The one that you find when you least expect it, and you can be yourself fully, without doubt, and somehow everything matches to a balance.

Now, isn’t it a lovely thought to think we only have these three loves to consider?

But let’s be freaking real, we have more. A lot more. The tried relationships. The two second relationships we get to the year relationships that give us the same depth as the few second interactions.

We meet people that show up in our lives at the right time and honestly for a good reason, WE WERE THE LOVE WE WANTED TO EXPERIENCE AGAIN.

We were the love we have been missing, and it showed up in a relationship.

We forget how to fall in love with ourselves after so long, and it’s not in the way that is superficial like the way we look at sunset or being called beautiful or sexy, it is the feeling of being seen and appreciated for the person we are. Under the exterior. Sometimes we tend to spend too much time focused on either our surroundings or ourselves in a negative context and having that perspective can get claustrophobic.

The people we fall in love with was not the person for us, and as much as the goodbye hurts, because when love is formed it’s not easy to let go, we get to realize it is a reflection of exactly what we need in the moment,  but the “ welcome back” is much needed from our inner self.

Somehow through hurt we find our way back home. Through lost love we learn to find our love again. We seek out the answers that were never spoken, and at last we can find peace, because it ends with who we are, and where we sit with ourselves.

We find our power again. Love is amazing, but a love that didn’t last is a lifelong lesson. One we will carry with us forever. What if all this heartbreak was meant for us? Like putting together puzzle pieces to match our heart we were born with, home again. Except this time, we are creating our own life, one we own, and love.