All of us has looked for, searched for, and prayed for The One (at least at one point in our lives). But wait a minute, do we really know who’s The One?

Below are five question relating to that special person who holds the key to our happiness, fulfillment, and security both at present and the future that lies ahead.

WHO – The very person that we should all try to find and keep is within us. The One is us, the true and genuine us. It is contrary to the commonly-held notion that The One is another person that we will meet in this lifetime, who will sweep us off our feet, magically complete us, and with whom we will share this lifetime’s happily-ever-after.

Some equate The One as the coveted soulmate – the one person predestined for each individual. Somehow, all those notions are true because finding The One will definitely turn our lives into a blissful existence; we will feel complete, happy, fulfilled and secured; and most importantly, we will meet the very person that we are destined to spend the rest of our lifetime with.

We will know that we have evolved into our most authentic selves when we are fully at ease with the persons we have become, we know where we are going, and we are unafraid of what the future will bring. Our happiness, security, and contentment are not dependent on our marital or relationship status. We have a healthy, happy, and enlightened connection with our own heart, mind, and soul that we end up actually flourishing in most aspects of our life.

Challenges may still be there but we know that there is no difficulty that we cannot handle and learn from. We don’t need any fairy-tale ending for us to claim and enjoy our very own happily-ever-after.

WHAT – What should we do to find The One? We get to know ourselves. We read books, watch movies, run, hike, pursue our passions, cultivate our hobbies, listen to people, take part in new and varied experiences, love, get our hearts broken, laugh, cry, meet people, speak up, listen, make mistakes, learn from them, re-do our life, travel (if we have the time and resources), and actively live the life that we are given.

We do not opt out or stay passive. We have to make our own plan and be a part of it. We stay fully present in every hour, every minute, and every second of our life and we should listen and take hint as to how our body and soul respond to what is taking place in and outside of us. We should take note of what brings us joy, what conversations light us up, what experiences are worth trading a good night sleep for, what rip our hearts open, what drives us, and what de-motivates us.

We make it our life’s mission to get to know ourselves fully well. We spend (or even ‘waste’) time with people once in a while because sometimes, that’s how we learn. And then, we hustle. We give our all. We fight until we have nothing more to give. We reach for the summit. We go to the edge and decide whether we are the type who jump or the ones who back off. We should take pride with our discoveries and we get amazed with the life we are creating and the persons we are becoming. That is our sacred duty – to discover, lose, find, re-create, and end up as the people we are entitled and meant to be.

WHEN – Anytime is a good time to find The One. If you find it early on, then that’s plainly fortunate as you most likely have maximized every opportunity for growth, you have shared your knowledge and experiences with others, and you have savored the rewarding aftermath of self-discovery.

However, we should not despair if we are still on our journey to finding The One. Stumbling on The One at the latter part of life means that the overdue victory is much sweeter, evaluated and enjoyed against the backdrop of a not-so-ideal yet colorful and interesting life. Mistakes and blunders have their charms. We remember them with fondness because in most instances, they are defining and life-altering in a striking way. We may get burned, earn some bruises and scratches here and there, but we end up stronger, more interesting, and oftentimes, more trustworthy.

It’s true, there is a certain level of recognition and respect among people who have been through ugly places yet emerged more beautiful. Some may call this, the adversity advantage. In truth, there is no good or bad experience. Everything we’ve been through is just life happening through and to us. Regardless of the context, life is always beautiful and something to be thankful for and celebrated fully.

WHERE – We meet our true and most ideal selves where it is essential: (i) mind, (ii) heart, and (iii) soul. Our transformation should permeate those three sacred facets of our individuality.

Our thoughts should be our own – free from notions and ideals that we do not hold dear. Our hearts should beat to the sound of our own drums. We alone should dictate the rhythm. Our music may be influenced by the world and its people but the songs in our playlist should be handpicked by us and us alone. We should not endure a music that doesn’t make our hearts sing. This life is too short to be scored by a soundtrack that is not fit for our reel. Lastly, our soul. It should be as wild and free as the vast realities and lifetimes from beginning to infinity. Let’s not confine our souls to the here and now. Let’s keep it magical, unfathomable, and ever-evolving. Let’s allow it to grow and discover the mysteries of this life.

Let us all focus on those three aspects of our person as we can never get lost if we let all that is true within us (mind, heart, and soul) shine through and guide us with whatever we are facing at any given time. We should listen to those three. Always. Often.

WHY – Finding The One is anchored on our sacred duty to be the person that we are meant to be. The universe and everyone around it will stand to gain if we all end up as the persons we are destined to be. That’s our greatest accountability to this life and to all the people that we will meet in this lifetime.

There is no good or bad person. Everyone is unique and each one’s rarity is a commodity to this world. We shortchange this world if we refuse to dole out our most authentic and genuine selves. Everyone is complex and each one has a role to play in the grand narrative of life. So we should take part and do our share.

Finding The One should be everyone’s why. That is life’s meaning and purpose. That is life’s greatest dream and its deepest longing. Everyone should constantly strive to evolve into the best versions of themselves (yet), while persistently laboring to improve and be better each and every day.