There is a common belief that if a guy who is socially awkward learns to pick up women, his whole life will instantly change for the better. Somehow, this is supposed to give him the confidence to be able to go out and meet cool friends, get the dream job, and live the American dream that seems to be so illusive to the socially clueless counterparts running around.

I say that this way of eliminating your problems with social awkwardness is wrong, and here’s why.

Many guys will focus so much on what it takes to get women to like them, it becomes their main objective. They quit their jobs in order to put a full time effort into learning how to approach, gain attraction, isolate, and eventually seduce the woman or women of their desire. Everything they do is either directly involved with picking up women or helping others learn how to pick up women.

When the women-stalking is going well, they tell all their pick-up buddies about it. They give him high fives and call him the man. Many will even write Lay Reports on the big, commonly known Pick-Up Artist websites, bragging about the women that they seduced. In fact, the more they sleep with, the more respect they get.

Call it revenge for all the women who ever mocked, rejected or dumped them. For the ones who never had a date before in their lives, it’s a sense of freedom and a right to the sex that they never got to enjoy before they learned all these new skills and tricks. Even though these men have to put on a fake persona in order to get women to sleep with them, in their eyes it’s worth it in order to get the feeling of being desired, even if it’s for one night.

But what happens when women catch onto their phony tactics or discover what a loser he is, when she discovers he’s unemployed, has no income and no other interests in life, except trying to make up for the sex he never had. Usually he gets mad and calls her names, threatens her or even hurts her like an event that happened not too long ago.

Many of these men hate and have no respect for women whatsoever. In their eyes, all women exist for is to provide them with sex. The proof exists by the number rating system they use to decide if a woman is good enough to sleep with or not. Example: HB7.

Men who value other things in life get much farther ahead. When a man owns his own business, has tons of hobbies, likes to travel and so forth, he has a much easier time socializing with others in his daily life. Since he has other things going on in his life that are extremely important to him, he doesn’t base what women feel about him as his sole reason for existing, so if they turn him down his whole world isn’t going to crash before his eyes.

As you can see, these men have a much healthier view of women than the guys who give up everything in their life to be with them. All those other guys have is their need to be validated by women, and when that doesn’t happen, what else do they have?

For the sake of all the socially awkward men out there and women who want a real man who isn’t insecure, let’s get past this phase called Pick-Up-Artists and work on becoming better from the inside out.