I have worked with chronic and serious mental illness.

Many come with years of neglect to psyche, body and soul.

Besides talking individually in therapeutic sessions, I also organized group sessions. It’s a safe place to share similar hued experiences, process emotions and learn survival and coping skills from each other.

It’s an oasis of care where the clients take sips from cup of connections and struggles.

Once, I was doing a group on relaxation techniques. Some of the coping techniques that we talked about were deep breathing, imagery i.e thinking about a place that is calming like a beach or hiking, painting a calming situation with every little detail and Progressive Muscle relaxation i.e tensing and relaxing each muscle, intentionally.

One of the older woman client told that she struggles with anxiety and depression due to her soured relationship with her son. “I have not spoken to him for so many years and have not held or seen my grandchild.

The client told that her son was resentful for her being in an abusive relationship with her husband. “ I stayed in the marriage far too long as he was abusive to us. I always protected my children but my younger son probably felt that it was not enough. He said that I have not done anything else besides giving him birth.

I am sure that there is more to it but he refuses to  talk about it. What could I do? I had seen my mother being beaten by my father and this was somehow almost normal for me. Maybe I should have protested and left as my son thinks I am a weak person.” The client is prone to getting anxiety attacks as she revisited painful memories. She was still exploring the PTSD of being in a long term abusive marriage which made her prone to anxiety attacks.

I assured her that she will have to be kind to herself while undergoing therapeutic healing. The current scenario and generation cannot judge the previous generation as the values, environment and social expectations were drastically different. The client could not wipe out her upbringing as we all are a product of our environment. Statistics say that a victim of domestic abuse returns 8 times to the setting of violence before finally making a break. Many meet fatality in the process.

I reminded her that she was not a victim but a survivor. And that today she has chosen to seek help. Today matters more than yesterday.

Mental illness is cruel to the patient and also to the extended families. It loosens bonds which have the potential to help survive depression and anxieties.

The client had years of depression, anxiety due to her failed relationships but now she was coming to terms with her losses.

“ I will continue to texting him to tell that I love him. He might block my number or read the texts. I can try and hope that I will again be a part of his life. I have to believe that if destined it will happen.”

Talking is therapeutic. She was already taking medications and was on a path of stabilization. It’s just sometimes the desire to be understood and connected can be overwhelming.

The family and society can just be there. Not much is needed beyond that but we get uncomfortable, remember past resentments and turn the face away when the a hand is stretched asking for help.

The lady shared her that her happy imagery was to have a ranch, going for horseback riding and being carefree and sunkissed.