I am useless. No longer desirable. No longer valuable.

By week three of feeling like crap, my inner critic starts to get noisy. I’m good at managing my internal dialogue, for the most part. However, after I’ve been physically knocked down for three weeks, and things are just getting worse, my mind starts to run.

What did I eat? What did I do wrong? What emotional undercurrent am I not recognizing or processing?

These questions run in a loop and I come up with a myriad of answers, all of which hold validity.

By this time I’m spinning…and not spinning in the direction of control. I’ve become confused, angry, frustrated, and depressed.

I rest. I rest some more. I rest again. I meditate, take Epsom salt baths, engage in breath work, repeat affirmations, call friends, and pull oracle cards for guidance. Any improvement? For brief moments.

So why haven’t these ultimately worked?

1.)    The energy behind them is desperate: I am doing these so I will feel better. I MUST feel better. When desperate energy is the input, desperate energy is also the output.

2.)    I’m not accepting the flow of life: I’m fighting the fact that this physical knock down is what is in my Highest Good. Being in true service and trust of Spirit means I accept whatever is thrown my way as a necessary step on my path of soul development.

3.)    I’m not listening very well to the messages. The human ego is stubborn. I receive the messages with humility: They raise my awareness and I even delve into them through journaling and meditation. The problem is that the inner critic is also present, which distorts the nature of these messages. It also just adds to the list of thoughts running through my head, contributing to the chaos and confusion. As a result, I don’t take inspired action.

I’m not saying not to use any of the tools listed above. On the contrary. Consistent practice of these methods are excellent preventive measures for medical and mental health.

However, once you’ve started going downhill, continue to go downhill and then spiral into a giant ditch, they aren’t as effective as “drag my ass out of the ditch” methods.

So what hauls us out?

1.)    SAY NO to anything other than taking care of yourself in this moment.

2.)    SURRENDER. I open the Akashic Records and just receive what is coming through. It doesn’t have to be the Records. In whatever way you most effectively access your relationship with Spirit, go there. Allow yourself to receive whatever wisdom is being offered in your Highest Good.

3.)    BREATHE. Allow the energy to be infused into your physical body. Direct your breath to the areas of discomfort.

4.)    FOCUS on the area of discomfort. What does it feel like? What does it look like? Can you give it a name? Ask it what it is symbolizing. For instance, if you are feeling pressure, what in your life is pressuring you? Ask what it has to tell you. Our bodies hold wisdom, and this wisdom is clarified in the presence of Spirit.

5.)    CLEANSE this area of your body with crystalline light energy pouring in from the Akash. Visualize that the sediment of dis-ease is releasing into the Earth and being replaced with the Light and Power of the ether. Sit in this. Allow it to distribute and activate throughout your entire body.

6.)    REMEMBER your power. This power is the essence of you that existed before this incarnation. It is always accessible and inhabiting us in each and every moment.

7.)    CHOOSE one tiny step you can take to move toward this power. One.

8.)    DO IT. Even if you have to muster up all of your energy to do it and it feels useless. Make that commitment to yourself and your own progress. To hope.

Don’t get me wrong: This process isn’t going to make you feel 100% better and skipping through sunflower fields by morning. It is going to haul you out just enough to get out of the useless, de-valued and undesirable depths.

Our heads are at least above water now. We’ve invited Spirit into our back pocket and decided to carry this relationship along for the ride. There’s no better superpower.