Yesterday.

Yesterday was kind enough to get me here

Yesterday I didn’t reply because the thought of telling someone I don’t have the capacity to help right now is unbearable…

Yesterday I could only try and help myself

Yesterday I didn’t know if today would be better.

Today I am sorry for yesterday

Today I promise I will try harder next time.

Today I am meditating by a lake gazed upon by a stunning temple.

Today I am alive and it is wonderful.

Today I can help.

Tomorrow. Shit.

Tomorrow is uncertainty

Tonight, I won’t sleep until I am certain.

Am I a victim?

No.

I am a survivor.

Spending my days wading through the murky waters that is my mind, just to survive better than yesterday.

I survive myself because I am worth it.

I survive so I can look across the table at a friend sharing a coffee and feel home.

Do they know their presence warms me like that delicious caffeinated beverage warms their throat?

I will tell them… Shit, tomorrow I will tell them.

Tomorrow will be better.

Today I felt warm, happy and loved.

Today I loved myself.

Today I tried.