They say that monogamy or “Til death do us part” is the ultimate mood killer for most.

Because what is sexy about limiting choices and only sharing your soul and body with just one person (if at all)?

Is marriage a trap constructed by society to retain morals, or just another marketing strategy to keep the mammoth wedding industry running?

What initially started as a political alliance in ancient civilizations then slowly trickled down to be a treaty that guaranteed stability to children from these circumstances.

I am not awaiting my turn!

But yes, the idea that someday I would like a man who can’t wait to make love to me, even when my body loses its youthfulness and my eyes are lined with crow’s feet, is empowering. Because it’s sexy as hell to want someone unconditionally through the years. Watching them mature and evolve with you through it all, secretly waiting for the kids to move out so you both can get back to exploring.

Sexy marriages are a myth just like the unicorn, everyone says. But why should it be that way? Why can’t I dream of an erotic marriage, where even 30 years of being together will not stop me from being thirsty to explore new things with my husband?

As a facilitator for Sensual Healing workshops, saving this sexy side of marriage has been my passion. It’s a beautiful sight to watch couples come and fall in lust with each other once again through nothing but the forces of their sensual energy.

There is no doubt that some arrangements are not meant to last, particularly if couples no longer feel the same for each other. In this case, it’s always better to mutually respect the fact that the marriage is over.

However, I sincerely feel that a few naughty practises and affirmations are enough to save a marriage if you’re just suffering from a busy lifestyle.

1. Understand your body. Question your urges, and play with your fantasies through imagination. Be open to communicating with your partner about them.

2. Eliminate the use of pornography. Instead, fuel these deepest fantasies with your partner. Think about any particular feature they may possess that drives you wild. It could be mental, physical, intellectual, or a combination of all.

3. Touch yourself more and more. It could be that tingle on your skin after thinking of the last date night when the kids were asleep, maybe. Touching yourself takes absolutely no time. Take time out in the shower to understand your body. In tantra, the body and its emotion centre are the base of pleasure.

4. Express your desire, make him/her feel wanted. Make out every day; it could be a kiss or more. Do not go to bed without touching and expressing how much you still desire your partner.

5. Schedule date nights on your calendar. Make an effort to step out and get to know each other again, even with a mysterious element. Just like the good old days!

Pick any affirmation that you can connect most with. Say it out loud whenever you want to feel empowered! Affirmations are a powerful way to communicate to the universe about your feelings and needs.

Affirmations:

>> My sexual energy is magnetic. 

>> I am my partner’s muse.

>> I am insanely attracted to my partner.

>> I am not ashamed of expressing my sexuality.

Monogamy is sexy; what’s not attractive in consistent lust? Beauty can only last for so long, but it takes a certain spell to be consistently in love. What’s not sexy about having a partner who I still want to make love to at 70, with our weak hips and ageless lust?

Let’s bring the lost art of sacred sex in marriages back, and let’s reclaim our sensuality through years of experimentation, honesty, and laughter.

Let’s make fidelity sexy and alluring.

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