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A post shared by Elephant Journal (@elephantjournal) on Oct 12, 2019 at 8:00am PDT

How do we thrive in relationships in this day and age?

How do we “beat the odds” in a time where separation and divorce are talked about more than successful partnerships? How did this happen? How did we get to this point?

Over the past decade, it seems like if you haven’t gone through a separation or been on the brink of one, then you are in the minority.

Relationships are shifting. People are busy. And there is not enough time to invest in one another with how busy our schedules have become. We live in a society where it is almost expected that we overextend ourselves, whether it be going to the office early and staying late, or having our kids in more activities than time allows for.

We need to take a break, a serious break. We need to give ourselves more time to be with ourselves, with our partners, and with our families. We need time to talk and reconnect.

Remember when there were no cell phones to endlessly scroll on at night before bed? No internet to surf? When we had to watch commercials on TV? These used to be some of the times when we would connect and check in with each other.

We’ve lost the art of connection.

Doing relationship work is hard, and taking the time to invest in working through issues takes time and dedication. It’s not an easy road, and this is often when couples decide to either separate instead of doing the hard work, or stay together and live miserably ever after.

A conscious relationship is when we treat others with respect, are fully present for the other person, communicate in a respectful manner, and are fully open and honest with our partner.

Want to know how to keep that connection and the conscious aspect alive in your partnership? Here are four tips to do just that:

1. Communication

We often confuse communication for talking or making conversation. Communication is about connecting, and hearing what your partner is saying. It’s about active listening and respective dialogue. The next time you talk with one another, try this: after each of you is finished speaking, repeat all of the points you each touched on to see how good your active listening skills are.

2. Trust

Although love is an obvious, key element in a relationship, without trust, a relationship is unable to grow. Having a strong, solid trust in your partner is what will help you survive the storms. If there is no trust, ask yourself, was there ever trust to begin with? If there was, how was it lost? Work through this reason with one another in an active listening, respectful way.

3. Honesty

Honesty is a way of life, not just a behaviour. When we have full faith in our partner, it allows for the freedom we need to be at ease, and lets our relationships move forward in the healthiest way. Can you be honest with your partner? If not, why?

4. Respect

Respect in a relationship is not about controlling the other person, it is about allowing you and your partner to be yourselves and fully accepted for who you are. Everyone deserves equal respect, and if you are not giving it or receiving, why is that?

Taking a deeper dive into some of these questions and getting real with yourself and your partner can spark discussions deeper than just your busy day, the weather, or what bills need to get paid.

Having deep, meaningful discussions about things that are bothering us is a way to clear air, reconnect, and strengthen our relational skills and bonds with one another.