How to avoid picking up energy from other people, and how to clear away energy that isn’t ours are the most common topics students and clients ask me about.

This makes sense, because we live in communities and are constantly affected by each other’s moods and actions.

However, the first thing we have to remember is that each of us is completely responsible for our own energy.

Yes, it happens that we come into contact with energy that isn’t pleasant and it impacts the way we feel, but that is not someone else’s fault. It is just the nature of human interaction. We come into contact with each other and we affect each other—this is what it means to be alive.

In her book Trust Your Vibes, Sonia Choquette tells us, “We psychically influence each other at all times, and those of us who live in a higher way know this as fact and don’t question it.”

Our thoughts are powerful.

Where we place our energy and efforts matters and has consequence.

When we think about other people and they think about us, there’s an energy exchange. This is the most normal thing happening to everyone. And that is why if we never clear the energy that has been exchanged with others, we are going to find ourselves having this sense of being heavy, dragged down, and like we just don’t feel like our real self. It can be difficult and tedious to feel like we are always carrying the burden of other people’s energy.

But the good news is there are tools we can use to clear this energy that isn’t ours and is weighing us down.

When we do these energetic clearings from an intention of health and well-being, it has positive ramifications for our own being, for the being whose energy we are clearing, and for the collective as a whole.

So, clearing energy that isn’t ours is a win-win-win situation.

And it costs no money, doesn’t really take that much effort or time, and is effective.

All it takes is a little willingness to let go of a need to blame others or blame ourselves and release the energy for the simple reason that to do so is good for us.

The other day, I knew someone was feeling tense around me. They were skittish every time we came into contact and seemed physically uncomfortable to be around me. I set the intention that all energy between us was clearing, and I felt many dark cords of energy clear from my face. I didn’t attach meaning to these cords; I just willingly let them go.

Later that day that same person came to me and said, “I want to clear the air between us,” and we had an honest discussion about events that had occurred in the past year. I just spoke honestly from my heart during the discussion and had no expectations that the communication would bring a certain result. I just wished for clear energy for both of us. Soon, I observed this person become more physically comfortable being around me.

Sometimes the energy needs to clear before we can see results in the physical improve. Energetic self-healing is the tool we can use to clear all energy that isn’t beneficial to our lives.

Energy Exchange Healing Technique

The most important aspect of using the Energy Exchange Healing Technique is for the intention of the process to be generosity.

Everyone needs their own energy to feel whole.

We aren’t sending energy back to a person because we’re angry at them or because we think they’ve purposely harmed us with their energy. Instead, we’re saying a kind, “No, thank you,” and “You need your energy to be your best self.” Then, we feel energy that isn’t ours leaving our systems and returning to its proper owner, so they can thrive and we can thrive.

Step #1: Find a quiet place and close your eyes. Notice your breath for a few rounds of inhalations and exhalations. Let your shoulders come down and feel your whole system settle into the moment.

Step #2: Set the intention that the person whose energy you want off of you is having their energy returned to them.

Step #3: Imagine the person’s energy leaving your personal realm and returning to them. The energy might look like little drops of rain, big rocks, cords, or liquid. Just go with whatever comes to you. Don’t question it too much. Be thorough with this process.

Step #4: Notice what comes up for you emotionally and in the body through this process. You might feel grief or experience a sense of traumatic release arise. You might also feel lighter and have a visceral sense of relief. All of this is healthy. Just let everything move through you. Don’t attach to what the mind is telling you or any ideas of what the energy exchange process means. Just stay with the intention that any energy that isn’t yours is clearing for the purpose of generosity for you and the other people involved.

Step #5: When you feel the movement of energy leaving you, slowly ask your intuition if it feels complete. It is possible that more then one session of this technique is needed. Let everything settle. You have shifted your energy. Feel grateful for that and let it be.

Step #6: After you have taken a few quiet moments to settle, it is now time to recover your own innate energy back to you. Set the intention: “Any energy that’s innately mine is returning to me.” Visualize little raindrops of your own energy traveling from all over the world coming back into your energetic realm.

Step #7: Notice how you feel. Usually this energy return feels quite good. It usually feels natural and like wholeness is returning.

Step #8: When the movement of energy coming back to you slows and eventually is complete, lie still for a few minutes to let the energy integrate. This technique can be done daily, weekly, or monthly, depending on how much energy exchange you feel is necessary for your unique and individual healing process.