We are made up of an everlasting energy that defines how we move, speak, listen, and feel.

But people are not aware of their ability to tap into this unending well.

Understanding our energy and learning how to manage it is understanding our life, mind, and being. Let me make this wide-ranging topic easy for us to learn with four elements that can give us the upper hand at life, love, and the pursuit of happiness.

Element One: The Energy Equation

There’s a clear link between energy and our awareness. Where our awareness goes, our energy flows. Instagram, email, the Kardashians—these aspects of life can be likened to strings that pull us this way and that. The reason why we care is because the subject of focus gets our attention whether it deserves it or not.

The equation looks like this:

Our senses (eyes, ears, nose) + Awareness (focus) = Energy

Our focus should go to our well-being, the well-being of those we love, those we need to work with, or who benefit our future in some way. The challenge of energy management comes when we start to focus on things out of habit, boredom, or lack of discipline. Even our thoughts can be as exhausting and unwarranted as toxic people or relationships if left undefined and excessively random.

Element Two: Energy Expenditure

Using energy is inevitable—that’s how we stay alive—but what we don’t know is that the bulk of our energy goes out of us without us knowing. However, if our energy was like money, we’d keep a watchful eye on the automatic payments of thoughts, relationships, and the spoken word—all things that deplete energy.

Most people aren’t aware that the smallest things in life take their energy without giving anything back. Exhaustion is the result.

Giving out energy should be an investment with a good ROI (return on investment). The bigger the energy expenditure, like relationships, the bigger the return should be. Failing relationships are a good example of energy depletion from one partner giving everything and the other not giving nearly enough for a balance.

Make sure that when you give energy out to people, situations, or things they are able to give some back. When we get value from something, our energy is reciprocated and the energy bank account doesn’t get depleted. Giving our energy out and getting nothing in return is not sustainable and will eventually leave us feeling used, bitter, and resentful.

Element Three: Practical Application

We can change our perspective all we want, but if we don’t start practicing energy management we will never be the effective, powerful, and spontaneously creative person we are meant to be. Use the “three Ds” to get a firm practice started.

Discrimination + Detachment + Dispassion = Energy Management

Discrimination: We have to consciously be in control of what we give our attention or awareness to. Cultivate observation so that we are aware of things and people around us but are not overly invested. Make sure you develop a personal rule: if you’re getting involved, then the matter had better be important enough to involve you. If not, then detach. 

Detachment: The ability to release awareness and thus energy from an object, situation, or person. If we observed a situation, person, or thing that doesn’t need our focus, then we let it go, watch from afar, and hope everything goes well for those involved.

Not everything or everyone should deserve your attention, because you value your attention, time, and focus. If you don’t treat your time and focus as worthy, then everyone and everything will try to take it, use it, and give nothing back.

Be the kind of person who makes someone hesitate before involving for fear of wasting your time. Then you have ample energy to give to the things that matter to you, change your life, and benefit whoever is involved.

Dispassion: The combination of discrimination and detachment well performed. Our dispassion is a state of wisdom where life bends and warps around our needs or aversions. If we don’t need it, then it goes away. If we need it, then the universe presents the door for us to open. Dispassion is being one with our universe and allows the law of attraction to attract that which we need in order to succeed mentally, physically, and spiritually.

Element Four: Cultivating Willpower

The art of a focused meditation system allows us to detach from that which we are aware of, pull all the strings of energy back into our source, and become whole again. With this system, we can begin to understand the layers of the mind by actually going through them consciously and choosing how we direct our focus. Meditation is the practice of directing energy, using willpower, and getting used to observing life without acting. 

Eventually, we become a better observer, become more mindful, and see life more clearly in the moment. We will be able to catch ourselves when giving too much energy without proper reciprocation and pull back.

The entire process of energy management is also known as the art of self-respect.