“I am beautiful”

“I am open to abundance”

“The universe supports my efforts”

Really?

In an age where positive self talk has become something of a new faith for the 21st Century pilgrim, critical analysis of the affirmation phenomenon feels like blasphemy. On the surface, affirmations appear as a fitting tool to combat the ailments of modern existence: the desire to propel ourselves forward on the back of good wishes, is surely an admirable trait in a time when more and more of us are facing negative inputs from an array of sources. Our homes are too small. Our waists are too big. Our cars are too slow.

But,  does the solution lie in numerous Post-it notes stuck to the mirror, or computer screen or fridge?. I suspect that positive self statements could back-fire for the people who seem to need them most. Research from the University of Waterloo has indicated that individuals that participate in such self talk, find it illogical: while people with high self esteem gain some marginal benefit in repeating positive statements, those with low self esteem had no benefit at all. Furthermore, they reported feeling worse after repeating the positive statements.

It seems those endless affirmations cause the brain to throw up a host of reasons why the individual believes they are not all the things the affirmation purports them to be. And by focusing on those negative thoughts their mood starts to worsen.

What the broad sweep of affirmations is seemingly lacking, is realism.

Life’s tough. We do feel insecure, occasionally. For example: if you were to speak publicly,…instead of thinking ‘I’m going to be a great speaker’ – what may be better is to stay in the moment of the anxiety that is normal in such situations.

This way, we may construct a realistic framework that allows us to build on our self esteem in a natural fashion. In doing so, we are steering away from  a way of thinking that is potentially delusional.

Emphasising realism requires us to ask questions of ourselves in order to find where our real strengths, dreams and aspirations lie. This is contrary to the way in which the majority use affirmations: far from being a point of analysis, they rise out of a bling grab at the things we believe will bring us lasting happiness.

Understanding the simplicity of the appeal of affirmations is obvious. Inherent within the phenomenon is the promise that we can attain a better life by verbally directing ourselves toward it.

However, without realism, repeating affirmations are no more effective than flooring the accelerator of a car that’s stuck in the mud. The wheels spin, but the notion of movement is nothing more than an illusion.

The sense of loss surrounding such a situation can be devastating.

So could the alternative  be moderate affirmations. For example: If nervously approaching a blind date with affirmations such as” I feel confidant, I have great social skills and people like me”; they may be better to moderate that to something like “ This will be interesting meeting a new person, I’ll just be myself”. Anxiety then may diminish. It’s all about realism.

Perhaps, its not so much about a gap between where we are and where we want to be, rather a discrepancy between what you say and what you believe.

Ultimately, there is no right or wrong in spiritual contentment. If affirmations draw and individual closer to the circle of a better existence, then the force of such positive self statements is proven in the results.  Yet, there are those who believe the process is fallible, and may contribute to a downward spiral, when the practice goes awry.

The relief is in knowing that a lack of personal progress doesn’t mean that one is doing anything wrong, and knowing that chanting blind statements of faith mean little without the backing of self analysis, personal awareness and a healthy sprinkle of goal setting.