Recently I was doing a group therapy session in which we talked about having healthy boundaries in relationships. Some people have rigid, porous or enmeshed boundaries and this creates toxicity in life and relationships.

Creating boundaries means creating a safe zone for one’s emotional and mental wellbeing and growth.

Sometimes family, friends or colleagues, knowingly and unknowingly will try to encroach on your sacred space.

What do we do as we don’t want to damage the relationship?

If the need is grave,temporary adjustments could be made as the most treasured relationships could become porous for preservation of the feelings.

But generally one should be able to gently but firmly ascertain their autonomy within the friendship or relationships.

Defining and protecting boundaries needs to be done even with the closest relationships.

Striving to justify one’s existence based on values, judgements and expectations of others can seriously damage one’s emotional, psychological, spiritual and eventually physical well being.

I see many people living the expectations and dreams of their parents or spouses. It’s positive to be committed in a relationship but certainly not at the cost of oneself. An empty vessel cannot pour out.

1)You could be a great child, parent, friend, spouse or colleague without sacrificing your individual self and psychological wellbeing.

2)Lack of healthy boundaries sap out the desire, joy and life of a person.

3)No relationship should or could define you. It’s you and yourself who is responsible for your decisions. Success or disaster.

4)Having healthy boundaries is liberating for the mind and soul.

5)To feel content and peaceful, one has to find, define and emphasize oneself.

Find your life goals, struggle to achieve them and take responsibility for your failures.

Not only do I encourage it but I also practice it.

Over the years, I have defined my spaces and boundaries. It has provided me an inner peace. I still fulfill my roles of mother, daughter, wife, colleague but at my pace and with my personal value system. I no longer feel the need to justify my actions as I also own their responsibility