One of the biggest misconceptions circulating at the moment is that everyone working in the wellness industry wants to help people… Let that sink in for a moment. It sounds like an oxymoron but it’s not. We have created a false reality in which people quit their corporate life, jet off to do a 200hr TTC on the beaches of Thailand, return enlightened with a few extra tattoos and proclaim to dedicate their lives to helping others. We live in an age where yoga studios are opening up on every street corner, acupuncture, reiki and homeopathy are becoming more mainstream than alternative, and having an osteopath, a doula and an E.F.T councillor is more commonplace than a psychologist and a GP. As wonderful as it is to have such an array of options there is often the belief that because a person has transitioned to this so-called “holistic” lifestyle that they are also devoid of the pitfalls of human behaviour. In fact it seems that many people gravitate to this industry in search of stoke to the ego. To be known as a studio owner, a retreat centre owner or a practitioner that can heal all ailments by just holding his hands over your body is so attractive to many that it leads them onto a dangerous path of narcissism and spiritual bypass. 

Their hunt for fame, recognition and acceptance often stems from a deep lack of self-worth and overwhelming feelings of insecurity. These people often find a sense of belonging by stepping out of the mainstream career-driven world and into a place where there is generally more tolerance and less focus on achievements. What luxury to live in where we can now choose our path and walk away from jobs which do not fulfil us! The tricky part come when the potential lack of structure, accountability and the easy going attitude of many people in the wellness world, means that things can become sloppy at best and dangerous at worst. The feeling of superiority that often accompanies those in positions of power can become obsessive, out of control and dictate the behaviour of teachers, practitioners and business owners.  

The rise of the #metoo movement, particularly in the yoga world, has sparked a wave of awareness on the subject. Women are now starting to feel that they can speak up against violations of their personal space. The silence has indeed been broken and the beginnings of conversations are being had where in the past it was swept under the rug so as not to make anyone uncomfortable. Sadly abuse in the wellness world is not restricted to sexual assault. It spreads into every area of life often times it goes unnoticed or is justified with grandiose claims that it is karmic, for the greater good or that we will lead to enlightenment. 

Signs that you are dealing with a wellness narcissist include: verbal abuse in the form of belittling, social exclusion, superiority and authoritarian behaviour in the workplace. Poor pay, often justified with exchanges, energetic or otherwise. Being manipulated to agree to things against your better judgement. Lack of accountability for poor or hurtful behaviour, asking for forgiveness because love is more important. And finally using a position of power as a means to personal gain, whether financial, sexual or anything else!

Unfortunately the wellness world is filled with such people and once we begin to notice their presence it becomes easier to avoid being sucked into their schemes. At the end of the day they are also suffering and the saddest part is that their own arrogance prevents them from getting the help that they need or being vulnerable enough to be honest with others. Power becomes a mask that they wear to avoid showing what’s underneath. They can easily become dictators and create mini-kingdoms of devoted followers where their thirst for power is quenched by these naive and easily-convinced students. They seek out the vulnerable, the lost and the disconnected who are brought with promises of community, enlightenment and a method untaught by anyone else. 

This is not to say that there are not real teachers out there. On the contrary there are wonderful, inspiring and genuine people who share what they know for the benefit of human kind. However the difference is that these people will be less interested in power. They will not use their fame as a justification to hurt or abuse. They will not make grand promises or seek recognition. They will continue doing the work that they do quietly, modestly and unpretentiously.