*Editors note: the term “vagina” is being used here to cover the entire area of the genitalia, not just the actual vagina.

“Can it be true that some women have never looked at their vagina, or maybe not in years?”

This is the question a friend of mine and I pondered after she sent me the video you’re about to see.

“Renowned sex and relationship expert Layla Martin set out to help women feel more comfortable in their own skin by showing them and their partners pictures of their genitalia, and the results are remarkably powerful and moving.” ~ Sean Molin, fstoppers

I’ve been obsessed with mine since I don’t know when. Apparently, my friend has been, too. Hers, that is.

We spoke about all the ways we hide from our sexuality (as a wider society) and the beauty of the vagina…what does it symbolize for us, why are we shy to befriend her?

I remember reading something else about this a few years back, where a therapist was leading workshops for the specific purpose of pussy gazing. Unbelievably, all the women attending had never witnessed the part of themselves which had birthed their children or brought them pleasure. For many, their vagina was a symbol of discomfort or shame.

In reclaiming our connection to the wisdom of our bodies, the inherent beauty of vulnerable flesh, we must greet ourselves in honesty and with whatever emotions arise.

Why do our vaginas scare us, intimidate us? What collective memories do they invoke? What relationship do we have with that well of creativity which has birthed a world of souls?

Or perhaps we are in love with her, worship her, tend to her? What are our boundaries when it comes to sharing her wisdom and gifts?

How do our partners feel about our vagina? Does it matter? Has porn altered the way our partners view a woman’s genitalia? Has objectification created the disconnection?

All these questions create a container worth exploring, so that we can release the fear, shame, and negativity associated with our bodies or our sexuality. We certainly should not be feeling queasy when our lover looks at it, or worried what their reaction might be. But sometimes we do, that’s the reality, and it’s okay to be real about what is true for us.

How long has it been since you intentionally looked at and admired your vagina? What was your reaction? Did you love her madly?

Our bodies are sacred. They are vessels of love. We are imprinted with thoughts of body-shame, sex-shame, that it’s less sacred to be human than it is to be spirit. Your body is sovereign. Your vagina is sovereign and beautifully human.

Let’s talk about this.

“Each individual woman’s body demands to be accepted on its own terms” – Gloria Steinem