God whispered to me, “you have the power to stay”. The biggest mystery in my life is always finding a reason to leave, it has become so easy it’s like my second nature- leaving a place, leaving a store, leaving a lover. When the house and heart begin to settle, i become frightened and i would pack my bag and leave that I became a gypsy, a nomad, a rolling Stone, my back would never taste the same place twice. I had become so unfulfilled, it wasn’t a wanderlust fulfilment, it was more psycho-spiritual- a deep need to deny rationalisation and to feed the ego; my need to leave is how I stay. I know that sounds oxymoronic but I have always been a stunner. I fell, one day as I was sitting on the veranda, watching the sun melt into the ocean, painting the sky a mesmerising orange and red i fell inlove with God, i had never been a believer in God- not saying He didn’t exist, just my life had been moving on that i didn’t check in. He kissed me in that part that craved settling down. I drank the sweet aroma of that moment. I realised, when did I hope to experience God when my feet were always ready to leave as soon as I get to a place, so in that moment as the moon soothed the burn of the sun on the sky, God whispered in the subtle wind, ” You have the power to stay”.
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Nicole Baptista is a language teacher and freelance writer from London. She loves writin…
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