There’s a side of being a female solo traveler that’s rarely displayed on Instagram because it doesn’t fit the perfectly curated travel inspiration.

It’s triple-checking you locked your door at night before going to bed.

It’s seeing a man in broad daylight and never turning your back to them so you can always keep them in eyesight.

It’s seeing a group of men and knowing they could overpower you. Your eyes start searching for the closest escape route.

It’s never wearing tight or revealing clothing—because then you’re “asking for it.”

It’s checking nobody is in the back of your car when you go to gas stations or the grocery store.

It’s hearing a knock at your door at 7:30 p.m. and grabbing the closest knife to you.

It’s knowing you’re taking a chance if you are walking around after dark.

It’s having a healthy dose of paranoia.

Healthy. Dose. Of. Paranoia.

I’ve traveled cross-country constantly looking over my shoulder. I don’t know if that will ever change.

The sad truth is, whether I am 3,000 miles away or if I never left my hometown, it would still be the same.