When I heard of the goals of spirituality over twenty years ago I became fascinated, even exhilarated by descriptions of higher states of consciousness, by transcendence and Oneness. Little did I know what needs to be traversed before such experiences become available, let alone stabilized.
My mind like yours is a minefield of thoughts. Repeating thoughts for long enough creates mental patterns (vasanas in Sanskrit), belief systems, a view of the world that usually becomes only more cemented as we get older and less flexible.
When starting a new practice like yoga these patterns do not just disappear with a cute little ‘pooff’ as soon as we pretzel up a few times. Instead they apply themselves to the new activities and perspectives, resulting in very little actual transformation until we realise this mechanism.
We may get into yoga etc to address the usual woes of professional and social life, finding some relief and relaxation, yet deep down remaining anxious and insecure or becoming just as competitive, arrogant or distraught in this ‘new life’ as we have been before.
I came across several schools and teachers that would actively instill a feeling of superiority in students, not just about yoga in general, but even about their particular ‘tradition’, so that students keep studying there. It took a while to break free and recognize that pride and separation are surprising obstacles in the spiritual realm.
Before we know it we may fall prey to what’s called ‘Spiritual Materialism’, the tendency of attachment and greed that the mind simply applies to spirituality when left unchecked. The ego becomes a spiritual ego. Entire books have been written about it, hardly anyone can avoid this pitfall entirely. Actively cultivating modesty and humbleness is part of most Eastern traditions for a reason.
Another challenge is the lack of quick results that many practitioners experience. By clever marketing or poor instruction lots of teachers give the impression that with a few classes and sessions (with them!) I can become a whole new person, leaving all troubles behind. While some stunning experiences may appear early on, they are usually short-lived and lack integration, leading only to craving them to come back, which removes them further, of course.
And then there is the treacherous stage of thinking ‘I know something’. Sooner or later insights do come along and they sometimes seem conclusive while in actual fact they just aren’t. There are countless stages taking us ever deeper, adding dimensions to all knowledge, which adds up to 0 and infinity at once. So before getting all insistent with our half-knowledge we have to be reminded that ‘No teacher ever spoke the truth’, because the magic of Reality simply cannot be squeezed into the tight constraints of language. Except for poetry, that is. Go read some Rumi now!
The spiritual path is often described as long and arduous, mainly because we hold on to what we are used to, we let the mind stay in control, we maintain our fears of letting go of anything. After a while we likely experience disappointment, which can even go as far as depression, the opposite of the happiness we signed up for originally.
“The problem is the mind. The solution is the mind.”
– Amritabindhu Upanishad
Again, becoming aware of the process of practice to gradually dissolve our mental patterns, of their origins & purpose, allowed me to begin to reconcile the complex, contradictory facets and states, to overcome these stages in time, but as much as I’d love to tell you otherwise, it will usually not be done & done this week or even this year. Nonetheless there is progress that makes the journey itself worthwhile, no matter how long it may take to realise that below all the layers of ignorance we are boundless & free.
Patience is the first ingredient for so many endeavours and spirituality is no exception. Recognizing who I really am beyond my limitations, biases and other programming started with admitting the impurities I harbour in my mind, be it due to upbringing, education or even karmic entanglement beyond mental comprehension. And that these impurities are not actually Me, they stand in the way of seeing Me.
The best prospects for such a journey lie in guidance from teachers that have seen these stages and challenges first hand, that can reflect what is going on instead of letting our own shortcomings perpetuate themselves endlessly by just changing their shape and shade.
This need not be the one-and-only teacher that many of us yearn to find, it can very well be a succession of guides as they often appear naturally, just when we become ready. They may not be fully realised sages – those are wise enough to say & teach very little – but each one will still have important pointers to share before we outgrow them, moving on to others gracefully and gratefully, always.
We sometimes hear that there is no path and there’s nothing to accomplish – nor anyone to impress –, yet it is often hard for us beginners to understand this attitude or the implications. It grows in us slowly until we hear the little voice of the Heart whispering it in the perfect moment allowing us to finally grok it.
In retrospect we see how stages have formed our path, however ahead of us shall lie nothing to project onto, release happens only in the present moment, pregnant with willingness to drop our baggage right now and abide in the full potential of every breath, every encounter, every experience to allow us to finally see our True Self in all its limitless splendour.
– Arjuna Dharmadas
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