Weddings Bring Out the Worst in Sisters

Owner of Weddings in Vieques, a destination-wedding planning company off the coast of Puerto Rico, Sandy Malone has helped countless couples plan their big day since 2007. Here, she explains how to deal with a sister who has become problematic during wedding planning.Your sister is supposed to be your best friend, right? At least that’s what they tell us. So with that in mind, why do some sisters misbehave when their own siblings get married? Sometimes it’s really hard to supportive and excited depending on what’s going on in someone’s life, other times it’s a long-rooted sibling rivalry. Here are six examples to ponder.

The Older Single Sister

It isn’t easy to be the older, single sister with no boyfriend when your baby sister is planning her dream wedding. No matter how happy your sister may be for you, if she’s alone, she’s got to dread all the nosy questions that are sure to come from the older relatives. As the bride, you should be supportive of your older sis and stick up for her when your great aunt Edna can’t stop asking her why she doesn’t have a date… That’s what sisters are for, after all.

The Divorced Sister

People get divorced. It happens. But when a recently divorced sister has to be a part of somebody else’s happy day before she has completely healed from her own failed marriage, it’s hard not to be a little bit uncomfortable. If this is your sister, don’t force her to participate in any wedding-planning activities until you have an open and honest conversation with her about it.

The Jealous Little Sister

She’s a bridesmaid but wanted to be the maid of honor. She wants to choose the dresses but you have completely different taste. She’s in the middle of all of your wedding details because your mom tells her everything and she has an opinion about absolutely everything. She a little terror. However, she doesn’t mean to be. And you can harness that negative energy if you embrace it correctly and get her to stay up till the wee hours with you tying little bows on wedding favors.

The Uninterested Sister

This is the most irritating situation if you’ve actually asked this sister to be in the wedding party. She’s the one who will miss your dress-fitting deadline, skip some of your wedding events and complain about the money she has to spend to be a part of your wedding. To remedy this, politely ask her if she would prefer not to be in the bridal party and then go from there.

The Controlling Sister

A sister who wants to take control can be really painful for everyone to deal with. If they haven’t been asked to participate in the planning, there’s probably a good reason for it. The bride knew what she was in for and didn’t need the stress. That doesn’t stop this sister from acting like she’s in charge and has the authority to order the staff around, complain needlessly, and general make herself a nuisance. You only get one wedding day, and you cannot let your sister spoil it for you if she’s not capable of controlling herself.v

The Supportive Sister

They do exist! And just for the record, supportive sisters make the best bridesmaids.

To My Sister On Her Wedding Day

My dearest sister,

I’ve been staring at my screen trying to come up with the perfect words to tell you, the best advice I can give that you are suppose to give someone on their wedding day. I’ve written these sentences countless times, trying to get it “right,” but I’ve come to the conclusion that the best things to say are words that come from the heart, which is where what I’m going to say to you comes from – all of these words are filled with love.

Seeing you happy on this day fills me with so much joy. You are starting a new chapter in your life and I am so honored that I am able to see you on this day and share this moment with you. While you may be older, I have still been able to see you grow into the woman that you are. I have seen you during the good and the bad, some of those times involving both of us going through it together, side by side, hand in hand. I have witnessed your greatest achievements and those rare moments when you needed a helping hand. I’ve seen you be you and it has lead us here to this day. I wish only the best for you and your future, my sister, and I know that it will be a bright one.

As the days whined down and your wedding got closer, it made me reflect on you and me. One thing I have always prided myself on was that not only have I been blessed to be able to call you my sister, you’re also one of my best friends. You’ve been the one constant in my life, someone I could go to for advice or a laugh or anything else I may need. As we’ve gotten older, our relationship has only gotten stronger. Of course, we’ve had our few (very, very few) disagreements, but that is typical with all sisters, and it has never changed the way we feel about each other. I can say without a doubt that you are my role model and my hero. If I come to be a fraction of the woman you are, I’ll be ecstatic. You have influenced my life in so many ways – too many to count. As you go about your wedding, know that I will be there for you always and that this new part of your life doesn’t change anything.

Enjoy your wedding day sister, because as long as you’ve waited for it to come, it will go by quick, quicker than you could imagine. Enjoy the love that you have for your husband and the love that everyone will be showering you both with. Enjoy every aspect of your night from the food to the dances to the jokes that will be made. Enjoy the laughs that will be shared and the tears that will undoubtedly be shed. Enjoy this night and enjoy your future.