I’m not sugar-coating my story, or yours.

Whether your heart gets broken, you lose a job, a loved one, are diagnosed with a disease… or…lose your front teeth, life throws curve balls forcing us to choose how to respond to a new normal.

And, it sucks.

WHY ME?

WHAT COULD I HAVE DONE DIFFERENTLY?

This story took place in 2013. I was 36 years old. But now, more than ever, our smiles matter. Your smile is not only a form of self-expression, but it’s also a universal language. Smiles are contagious. They spread love.

5) Freak Accidents Happen.

I think back to the day. Were there warning signs?

NO.

It began with a loud, annoying noise. Next, my metal frame and front rubber wheel locked, catapulting me over my handlebars in airplane pose. I face-planted the pavement with such force my favorite glasses were found 15 yards away as my legs flipped over my back so when I finally stopped, I was looking straight up into the sky.

As I attempted to talk, I felt a huge hole in my gums. Then my tongue felt shattered teeth embedded in the roof of my mouth. Frozen in shock, I stared into the cloudless blue sky and sunk into a new reality, I heard the ambulance sirens. We had been biking to a Sunday football game. But life had other plans. There’d be no nachos, no beers, no fun… not for a while.

As they say, “Accidents Happen.”

4) Love Heals 

Now… I get it, Mom’s are concerned.

However, while laying in the ER with a morphine drip and a brace around my neck, the last thing to cross my mind was “checking myself in” on Facebook. I told my boyfriend (at the time) to call my Mom and Dad and let them know.

However, my Mom thought it was a good idea to post a picture of us, smiling, on FaceBook, announcing my accident and questionable conditions. Because she was scared and needed support, she asked her community for prayers and positive thoughts sent my way. I get it. I get it, but my privacy felt violated.

As my phone began to blow up with calls and texts from my friends, my blood pressure began to soar! I didn’t want to worry anyone. I couldn’t talk nor did I have the energy to respond to anyone. Yet at the same time, as frustrated as I was with my Mom, I couldn’t deny the part of me feeling comforted from far away friends. When I finally checked my Facebook, I was blown away from comments from people all over the country, some I hardly knew. They reminded me to know I was beautiful no matter what. Though it was too painful to smile, I smiled on the inside.

It took a few weeks for the silver lining to sink in, but I couldn’t be angry with my Mom’s public post. Letting people know what happened created an outpouring of love, from flowers and homemade soup — to $2 from the Tooth Fairy! It also increased my self-confidence. I went from feeling scared to share my story to feeling brave to share my story on another level.  I decided to post a series of graphic photos to show the journey of my healing, not to show off my scars but to share the love back and let them know their LOVE was working! For weeks I was in pain. For weeks I felt in my story. Yet, in my heart, I was never alone.  Their love was stronger than any pain pill.

3) SMILE… Even if you Don’t Have Teeth 

My accident happened two weeks before Halloween. Rather than wear a mask to hide my smile I decided to create a list of costume ideas and have a little fun! A Hockey Player? A Jack-O-Lantern? A Hillbilly? Then, ding, ding “All I Want For Christmas is my Two Front Teeth” popped into my head!  Rocking a Christmas Onesie and pigtails with blue bows, I smiled as big as I could while walking into a Halloween party!  People came up to comment on my creativity and actually believed I had makeup on my teeth! You should have seen their face when they realized, I actually had no teeth. I also picked out all the Reece’s Peanut Butter Cups from the candy bowl. I’d had to skip the Snickers that year!

Fast forward to Christmas Time. By this point, I’d been sharing my crooked smile with strangers and making light of my silly grin for a few months. To continue using my smile as part of a costume, I decided it would be a great idea to sit on Santa’s lap at the Mall. Instead of a Onesie, I rocked a Santa Tshirt that said, “I Beleive”. I don’t know what made me laugh more: the look on the parent’s faces in line with their kids or the fact I am Jewish and it was my first time sitting on Santa’s Lap. Not allowing my tooth hole to get the best of me, actually brought out the best, in me.

2) Don’t Assume Anything About Anyone.

The day after my accident was the worst. I stared into the mirror, so swollen I hardly recognized myself.

With a broken nose, destroyed lips, and a face sore with scabs, I felt an eruption come from somewhere deep in my soul.  Hardly able to breathe, I began to sob. My face stung from my salty tears that flowed like tributaries down my scratched up cheeks.  The more I cried, the more I surrendered. I watched myself in the mirror. I accepted my reality.

Though I was injured and pretty gruesome to look at, I was also determined to have some control over what I could control. For me, this equated to picking out the soup I’d eat for the next several weeks.

Arm in arm with my boyfriend (who I had to convince to support my crazy decision to go out in public) we entered the grocery store. Unlike Halloween, I began to get stares. I saw the look on their faces. I quickly realized I should have worn a T-Shirt with an arrow pointing to him saying “I Swear He Didn’t Do It”. Feeling I needed to not only protect myself from them but protect them, from me, I put my hands over my face. I questioned my choice to leave my house.  I felt ugly and deformed. And, it felt awful. I could empathize with others facing the same feelings.

As time went on, my face and teeth began to look “normal” to the point people were clueless my accident happened in the first place. They’d say, “I never would have known!” And, I don’t blame them. Most folks don’t assume the pretty girl with a bright smile girl is the one with fake teeth. But that’s just it! No one ever knows the story behind a smile. We don’t wear our trauma on our sleeves. And for this very reason, we can’t assume someone is healthy, happy, or has their own teeth! I am sure you have a story behind your smile, too. What we see is often an illusion of what is real. People do not ask for their accidents. Please be mindful of others and show compassion with your smile.

1) Smile Flippers are Flipping Awesome

I couldn’t eat, drink, sleep, or kiss with my plastic retainer. The fake teeth fit into my gums like a perfect puzzle piece. But, every day I had a reason to take my teeth out, often in public. Majority applauded my attitude, saying if it were them, they wouldn’t want anyone to know.  But, it was not something I chose. The idea of not eating or not smiling… was not an option! Choosing confidence and optimism felt much better than attaching to shame or embarrassment. Plus, it took more energy to intentionally hide my smile than flash my tooth hole for the world to see. Chewing gum? Why not!  Hot wings? You bet!  Had I conformed to society and adopted an idea that looking different made me less worthy of enjoying these things, I’d lived against all I believe in. I’ve been flipping my frown upside down for as long as I can remember. I turned a lot of lemons into lemonade. If you can look at the moment of choice as a gift that you get to choose, you empower yourself with endless amounts of strength and courage.

You Are Not Your Story. You Are What You Do With Your Story.

This is your life. These are your lessons. What you decide to do with what you learn through your experiences is up to you. But please, do me a favor. Please give yourself permission, to smile, even if you don’t have teeth. Embrace all the bits of you. The broken parts. The bent pieces. The mosaic of magic that makes you, YOU. You are a unique gift and we, as a collective are grateful for all you offer us. You have been given your stories for a reason. Don’t waste your energy. feeling shame. Losing my front teeth opened me up in a way I never imagined possible. If asked if I’d ever want to lose my front teeth in a bike accident I’d quickly scream no! But reflecting on my journey, losing my teeth opened me to see myself and life in ways I never imagined. My smile is powerful. Yours is too. Let’s rock out with our teeth  Life is too short to hide your shine.