Ah, February, the most symbolic of all the months as it relates to love. With the ringing in of the new year, stores have long gotten rid of the aisles of green and red holiday decorations and quickly replaced them with candy and boxes of chocolates, rows of Valentine’s Day cards and assorted stuffed animals. Silk roses, red and pink gift boxes that include everything from lotions and perfumes to heart-decorated hand towels that read “his” and “hers” line the shelves. Everything centered around Valentine’s Day gives the illusion that we must have someone to buy these things for in order to feel validated and to truly embrace, appreciate and celebrate this “holiday.”

Over the years, I have found myself single on Valentine’s Day more than I care to remember and I have to admit, for me, this day became one that I absolutely dreaded. No one to send me flowers, no one to take me to dinner or whisk me away on a romantic weekend. Nothing but reminders everywhere I looked that I was alone in the world and had no one to love or remember me. Every year as Valentine’s Day approached, I promised myself to stay off of social media, to not ask anyone how their day was and to stay away from anything related to expressions or tokens of love.

Until I changed my thinking…

A few years ago, as I found myself facing another February 14th, I again felt the hurt, embarrassment and frustration of being single. I was, as they say, “over it.” But this year, it was going to be different and I wasn’t going to let it dictate my outlook or attitude any longer. I was tired of feeling like a failure because I didn’t have someone special in my life and that I was someone society deemed “sad” and “lonely.” I was no longer going to be willing to give into the notion that my life was meaningless unless I had someone in it. It was in that moment, that for the first time I ever, I learned to fall in love with myself.

So with that, I set out on a mission. I started with ordering a beautiful bouquet of red roses and had them sent to my office with a card I wrote that said “Happy Valentine’s Day, I Love You” with my name signed at the bottom. I then called my favorite restaurant and made a reservation for a party of one. Never in my life had my favorite meal at that restaurant tasted so good and during dinner, I ordered a couple glasses of champagne and proceeded to happily raise a glass to my single life.

Upon arriving at home, I went upstairs and ran a bath for myself complete with bubbles, lavender-scented candles, a glass of red wine, music and my favorite book. As I sat there beneath the warm water and inhaled deep breaths of lavender, a smile came across my face. In that moment, I realized I didn’t need anyone to love me, I absolutely loved myself. No card, no stuffed animal and no box of candy was ever going to replace the feeling I allowed myself to have that night. Being in a relationship doesn’t necessarily equate to happiness, happiness has to come from within and that, my friends, is the greatest Valentine’s Day gift you can ever give yourself.

Always Live InspiHERed,

Misti